Love The $ Hate The Guilt.

I never planned this. I never dreamed I'd be that girl.
I have known him most of my life and suddenly I am in a cycle of blowing him for cash.

My parents are old school Asian if my parents found out they'd kill me ... and I have know his wife as long as I have known him. Fuck yeah, I got some guilt.

Basically we old family friends. I grew up around him and they had kids later in life then my parents and I baby sit sometimes. It just kinda happened one night when he was paying me in the car for babysitting and I was complaining how much I needed the money because my phone broke. He counted out a full extra 150 in front of me and kinda nudged my head towards his groin. I looked at him in shock and he just said, "We both know your no virgin... a 150 really helps the phone fund."

With that he nudged my head again and I didn't resist and kinda got into it at least enough to let it happen and give him some good head. He literally tried fucking my mouth by pulling up and down on my hair. I felt like I was in a porn and I had no say in the direction. It was not like boys at school... he had me by the back of my hair and he pulled it and controlled me and I tried my best to keep up. He was too rough but more intense sexy rough. He is not hurting me but more constantly controlling me on his dick.
When he got close he informed me I'd be swallowing so did.
Afterwards it was awkward for us both but we didn't really talk about it past cleaning up.

Now every time he drive me home (not that often) it's just expect of me for 150 bucks.
I don't mind the money at all. And he is not that hot and is like an uncle to me... so gross... but I admit to loving feeling controlled like that. I guess I want to do it for him but the guilt of what I am doing to his wife is eating me alive. She is a sweetheart and auntie figure I adore.

I have done it at least 5 or 6 times now. It's getting hard to look her in the eye. In Asian culture respect for you aunties is huge. Advice?


Kim.