What’s Wrong With Me?

So I am married and I love eating pussy. I love it so much but my wife won’t let me eat her pussy much as I love it. Maybe it comes from having hurt her when we were apart, which I regret. We have moved on and decided to forgive n forget. Also I feel like I would like to be a top for a guy at times. Other times I imagine sucking a cock or two and being a bottom to a medium sized dick. At times I will play with her ass hole by caressing it as I finger her and as we make love. I really don’t know what to make of my thoughts. I feel a touch of lust to be Frank. I feel ashamed of myself.