My Friend From Childhood

We have a deep connection but I’ve only loved women romantically. We still see each other at least once a week for release. We are both married but no kids and our wives are friendly but not close. Of course we hoped and now fantasize about the two of them getting it on, never happened and if we were found out, hope that never happens.
There’s just something about going downtown and riding up the elevator to meet my suit friend. We have both found it near impossible to split up or end it. There is just something of huge bond with your friend, especially at 14 when you’re tired of jacking off and you just fall to your knees and start sucking , looking up for some sign of this is really okay, I don’t mind you sucking my dick. We actually made out that night and there was a closeness that enveloped us.
I always feel bad though since I’m on the small side of average and he’s sentenced inches and thick.
How long are we going to keep doing this, I enjoy it more now than I did in HS and college. I was always afraid of being caught.
How come I love to suck his dick and would do it whenever possible. I like my climaxes more with him than my wife now, or even strange pussy. I’ve turned down several woman just because they are local and I have no time for them.
He doesn’t want to stop but he has become concerned with my love of his dick.
I’m so tempted to tell my wife about what we do, we have been sucking each other or frotting on each other. Neither of us are into anal.
He thinks I’m loosing it though, I met him at a large department store and sucked his dick while he tried on suits.
We are thinking about filming ourselves.