Things I Wish I Had Done

My stepdad first came into my life when I was 7. We didn't live under the same roof until I was 9 and he has always meant the world to me. We laughed a lot and he taught me so much.
In middle school, I was on volleyball and cheer teams. I had the normal growing pains of a tween girl and my legs hurt often, especially after practices or games. I'd often ask my stepdad to rub my legs. It felt so good as he would rub my feet, my legs and thighs. As a normal young girl I was already touching myself in private and when he would rub my legs, I would think that that was what I wished I could feel like before I would play with myself.
It became obvious after a while to realize that he was rubbing me so high up on my thighs that the knuckles on his hands would grind into the center of my panties. Back then, I wasn't sure if it was just a coincidence and he didn't realize where he was touching but now when I think back I figure he must have known. He never did anything else like pull my panties to the side or push his fingers up there. It felt so good when he would do it that I looked forward to it every time. I now wish I had gambled and taken another step like not wearing panties one time or moaning once when he started to rub super high on my thighs and pressing on my pussy. It's now often a source of fantasizing for me when I finger myself. It's sad to have to look back and know that you missed out on something phenomenal. He's still a great guy and I love him dearly and it wouldn't be the same if I approached him now and I never would. But I wish he had tried just once to touch me. I was so horny in those days and by 13 I had really learned how to give myself an orgasm. Ive imagined that if he would have touched my naked pussy or slipped finger inside me that rockets would have gone off. If only.