I Became A Girl At The Age Of 9 And Have Lived As A Woman All My Life

I'll tell my story. I was born in Italy in 1949 in a small town with many brothers and sisters. My father was wounded in the war and received a small state pension. My mother and my sisters had a laundry business. When I was nine I was taken from the market by a man and he had male sex with me, penetrating me completely. I was returned two days later, with my eyes blindfolded and my hands tied before light at the railroad station. That day I became a girl.

I was taken to a doctor and he snipped my testicles leaving only the blood flow to nourish them, but my hormones were cut off. I was raised as a girl, my name was feminized, my hair was allowed to grow out, I wore girl clothes, I live with the women, I was taught all the household chores of women and as I grew older I worked with my mother and sisters in the laundry,

Puberty came and went, I never grew a mature penis, I had very little if any body hair, I remained slight, with small shoulders and I grew small breasts, in part because I took medications that the doctor gave my mother. I was a good student and did well in mathematics and was sent to the next village where a convent girl's school was located, along with one of my sisters who also did well in school and we were educated. The purpose of course was for us to join the convent, but our father prohibited that his daughters become nuns so we finished our secondary studies and I was accepted into a women's learning academy in Milan.

I had learned how to hide my penis, to be very careful around the other women, some did come to know about my penis, but I was a woman not a man and it was curiosity to them, this small penis between my legs. They didn't hide themselves from me, bath time or toilet time didn't matter, we were all women. And we talked about this or that boy and had long discussions about the time when we would get married. Even at that age, at the academy, I had not come to terms with the fact that a man wanting a productive woman wasn't going to want me,

A man did come along. A professor. And he was very excited with my small penis and that I had small breasts and he enjoyed performing sex on me. I loved every minute of it too, I was in love with him and being held and kissed and holding his large erect phallus in my hand and having him play and suck on my small penis was erotic and sexually charged. And intercourse, was so enjoyable, I felt every bit a woman. I was a woman, although some later questioned that. He told me about boys that were castrated in Turkey to become boys like me, that's where he first met a boy girl and developed a desire for boys girls like me.

I did well in my studies and went to Amsterdam for further studies and earned a doctorate degree and settled in London in the early eighties, always living as a woman. I had several lovers, men who like women like me, I enjoyed being a woman for them, the more feminine the role they expected the happier I was. I loved being a woman, loved it. And intercourse was what I did, Except for one small detail, instead of a vagina I accommodated these men with my anal cavity. It was a great surprise to me when one of these men, a lover I had met through friends, told me he was a homosexual and so was I. We were homosexuals. I wasn't a woman, But, he liked me being a woman,

I was crushed, hurt. It took me several years to come to terms with the fact that I was a homosexual, In love with men, in love with their phallus, in love with them. Always I had been attracted to men with heavy facial hair and body hair. Men who projected masculinity. It had never crossed my mind that they always saw me as an effeminate male, which is what they were looking for.

I am 73 now and still live as a woman. I moved many years ago to the coast of Spain, taught mathematics. From time to time, an Italian or a Spaniard, who preferred being with an effeminate homosexual came around and presented myself to them and I was a homosexual with them, because that is what they wanted, the more feminine the better. But it was important that they found my penis, they wanted a penis and to have sex with a man. To them the female form, the genitals, were not what they wanted. So I accommodated them. With them I was a homosexual. But how at my age, alone, in my retirement I can be a woman.