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this isnt really a confession, but more of a question. theres this guy i like at school who likes me back, but hes not the type of guy i usually go for. But thats not why im wondering, theres this other guy i like at school who likes me a little bit, but doesnt talk to me so much ( the other guy does) and hes the exact type of guy i like--blonde hair, blue eyes, shaggy hair, funny, wild-dazed side. what do you think i should do? or is this a no brainer and i should obviously go out with the guy who talks to me? imean, ive liked the blonde haired guy for almost 4 years now and im practically in love with him

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# 596 - by Anonymous / November 14, 2003
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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 14, 2003 at 8:14 PM

It depends on what you want.

If you want to get fucked and dumped by some guy that doesn't give a damn about you, then throw yorself at the Blue eyed, blond haired pretty boy. He's probably seen it before, and will neither be surprized nor impressed.

If you want a relationship with a guy that will give you something back, then go for the guy that already likes you. He'll probably try very hard to make you happy.

If you do decide on the pretty boy, then please don't go crying to your nice guy friend when Blue Eyes shits on you. The nice guy doesn't deserve to be your intellectual whore because of your shallow and immature evaluation of what is attractive.

Beauty is only skin deep, and you should not judge a book by its cover.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 16, 2003 at 4:45 AM

Unless there is a ring on your finger or your in a "committed" relationship already, I see no reason why you shoud not go out with both of them; and hey, if a third guy rolls along and happens to grab your attention, go out with him too if you want. After ten yrs with my X; I've now been single for the past 15 yrs and have three girlfriends. And yes, they all know their not the only one as do I know I'm not the only one in each of their lives.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 16, 2003 at 8:46 AM

okay, the first one was actually a helpful one i just have one thing to ask/say the blonde guy is funny and hes no exactly a "pretty boy" but he is incredibly hot. hes more of those guys in dazed and confused at least a little and we used to be friends and lately hes been looking at me a lot in school so i dont know what thats about.......
and to the second response,, what a load of shit! i could never do that to two guys.. go out with both of them. and what? cheat on them? you sound like a player and i feel so sorry for any girl who makes the stupid decision to actually be with you.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 16, 2003 at 11:03 AM

Don't bite his head off because he's with more than one person. He would be a player if none of them knew about the others. Since they all know about each other and don't have a problem with it then it's ok. Nothing is being done behind anyone's back. Maybe when you grow up and stop being confused over two school boys and your petty, miniature situation, and you step into real life and real relationships, you'll know what this guy is talking about.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 17, 2003 at 5:55 AM

okay sorry, what i said wasn't fair, but just that i couldnt do that to a couple or few guys i like because i would feel awful about it. also that i wouldnt want to be in a relationship like that and i would rather be the only one in his life instead of with 2 other women. but sorry

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 17, 2003 at 7:21 AM

You are entitled to your own opinions. If you don't want to be sleeping with more than one person at once, that's OK. On the other hand it isn't good to be judgmental about other people's relations if they are being honest with their partners. The world would be a better place if it wasn't for people trying to make others feel guilty about their morality or lack of it.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 17, 2003 at 7:58 AM

I agree with the last post (message #390 replying to 388). But to the girl I had replied to about biting off the guy's head for being with more than one partner.... it's ok, you don't have to apologize, I think the last post said it the best. But I see where you are coming from, I myself would rather be with just one guy and be the only one in his life as I am right now with my fiance. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else or him being with anyone else, but that's just me... I am monogamous. On the other hand, I do not judge anyone else's lifestyle that differs from mine. For instance, I have many gay friends and friends that are sleeping with multiple people at once. I am very open minded. I don't care or judge what anyone does as long as they're not hurting me or my loved one. Only you can decide what's best for you and what makes you happy. Do what you want and choose who you want to be with. No one can tell you any different.... follow your heart. You are trying to choose between two guys - go be with the one you want to be with, one you know will treat you right and will not cheat on you (since you seem to be monogamous as well). Good luck and let me know what happens.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 17, 2003 at 8:49 PM

Its really simple. Think about your favorite color for a moment. Then imagine waking up one day in a world that was all only black and white; you have no memory of any past colors. I then introduce you to a color, different then the one that was your favorite, and you immediately think you love it, after all its bright and attractive to you compared to dull black and white so you decide you love it; until that is when you again get to see all the other colors at which time your original favorite now stands out amongst them all.
Since you are obviously not going steady, living with, engaged to, nor married to either of those boys nor anyone else, you do as anyone on a quest for a partner for a monogamous relationship should do. You date as many boys as you may be attracted to, and by attracted I don't specifically mean physical as there are other attractions; actually more important ones as you'll find out as you gain dating experience. As time goes on and if your lucky a day will arrive where feelings may develop with one, way more so then with any others, at which time you might give thought to, and mutually decide that the two of you will from that time on only see each other. In many cases it's at that time when typically the male presents the female with a ring or perhaps a bracelet as token of his feelings. For you now to make a decision to only see one of those two mentioned boys, you would most likely be cheating yourself, as you really don't know either of them at this point so you cannot therefore make an intelligent decision, nor can anyone else make it for you.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 18, 2003 at 7:32 AM

Yes. Listen to this person. I've been trying to help you out but this other person is giving great advise. Take it into consideration.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 18, 2003 at 5:57 PM

just one question, what did you mean by i dont know them well? i know both of them pretty good, one better than the other, and i realize they both have good qualities to offer. one person i talk to in school a lot but i dont know him so well, the other person used to come over my house a lot and i know about his family and such, as well as many things he does for fun~~ i just wanted to clear that up

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 19, 2003 at 4:08 AM

First you say you know both of them pretty good, later you say you don't know the other so well.
Do either of them snore, talk in their sleep, or grind their teeth at night? What about future plans; do they each share or have plans for things such as career and family that compliment yours? i.e. perhaps one might be planning, for example, to one day be a Mars explorer where he'll be away from home for much of the time, while you may prefer a "stay at home" type of guy. I'm just trying to make a point that before you commit to just one you should know just about all there is to know about that one, and of course also be in love with him.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 19, 2003 at 10:56 AM

Give the quiet guy a chance. For one thing, you like him already. The other guy ... he'll probably still be around if things with the quiet guy don't work out.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 19, 2003 at 10:58 AM

Going out with both of them is not a bad idea, actually, unless you think going out once will mean "going steady" with him. Going out on a date does not make you exclusive. There's certainly nothing dishonest about it, unless you tell them that you *are* exclusive.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 21, 2003 at 3:54 PM

who's the quiet guy??i wrote this and i dont know which one youre talking about-both guys are FAR from quiet

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 22, 2003 at 7:04 PM

I meant the guy who does not talk to you much.

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