Those Were The Times

Being a good girl from a good family from a small town church getting pregnant as a freshman in college was the worst of all embarrassments. Even more embarrassing than being groped and put upon by a senior on the floor of the living room between the couch and the coffee table in front of other people at party. My bare bottom open for everyone to see. My feelings were so hurt, embarrassed, scared, he took me across the state line to marry me and shut me up. It wasn't enough.

The wedding at the church was small, quiet, six months pregnant. My parents were visibly hurt and disappointed, my friends, other family quietly shunned me. Nothing like that had ever happened in my family, a lesson for other families about letting girls go off to college.

My husband put up with me, I stayed home for a year while he finished graduate school, my only friend the lady next door. She was a young enough widow and had a small store next to her house. She is the first lesbian I talked to. She told me once that hatching young 'uns wasn't anything she had ever wanted to do.

I was hauled off to Alaska and got pregnant again. I was distraught, my husband worked as a construction manager on the slope, Maude my lesbian 'friend' closed her store, sold her house and came to live with me. My husband was having a fling with a secretary and I fell into Maud's arms. Maud was slow to act, but once we went all the way, we were lovers while my husband had his fling.

I've lived with one foot in the closet, Maud was my one lover and focus until she passed in 2017. My husband had his flings, always young secretaries, I had two more children. We are old now, memories of days gone by. When I die I'm laying beside Maud, my husband's welcome to the other side.

Comments

Anonymous

by Anonymous on Jul 28, 2022 at 7:45 AM

You don't sound as bitter as some who have gone through similar things. That's good. Bitterness at this point will hurt you more than anyone else. Maud might be gone, but your still here. Try to enjoy life as much as you can. I think she'd want you to.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Jul 28, 2022 at 12:26 PM

This is not judgmental on you but I just can’t understand how so many young women have confessed on here to have been r**ed and got pregnant yet seemingly just accept it. Their whole lives turned upside down and they just say "oh well that’s my lot in life” and get on with it. It seems to me that going to college or starting work is a very dangerous time for you doing American women.

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