Confused

So I dont know how to start. But please no jokes about religion. I respect any religion and any race.

Well lets start by just saying. I am a Christian and I really believe and have gone through a lot.

But I feel like I am a sinner and at the same time that I am not.

My wife and I have both been raised Christian and wel at some point my wife and I started exploring. She told me about her past that turned me on and about this one ex of hers that she really loves and never had sex with him.

She started having fantasies about mfm and it came that she wanted to have sex with her ex and I agreed to it. Even went as far as letting her contact him. And just before things got hot something happened and it made her more religious. So she stopped fantasizing about mfm and her ex or so she says. But I had to ask her to remove her ex.

Anyway she really does love me and wont cheat but I still have thoughts of her having sex with another man and I feel bad but cant help it.

On side I feel like it's wrong other side is like if it is consent is it still wrong?? It cant be cheating if it is consent.

Its just fun between a couple who loves each other. People in the past had many lovers.

I dont know.