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Dating Disasters
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Straight Female / 36
Tired Of Ships Passing Thru The Night, I'm Desperate To Get Married
I am not some wallflower. I have a career. I support myself. I have lots of friends. But I just can't get a man to commit to me. Take me out, buy me dinner, go back, give him a blow job, let him fuck. That seems to be the routine, but no commitment.
I'm getting to the age that where he clock ticks louder and louder. I don't want to leave this earth never having had a child, children really. Now at 36 I wish I had been one of those girls who got pregnant early and had four kids. Not be that woman who was independent and went to college and have a career, but at the price of an empty womb.
There's a man I know. He's fucked me a dozen times. He's old school and all. Every time he fucks me I have to go through it all over again. That feeling that somehow he's marking me or something. He's not from here, I mean the USA. He's a foreigner, but he's been here forever. It's the attitude really. Believe me, he fucks to own, not for fun.
But he likes me well enough. He had a family back in his country so many years ago but they are all gone and he is alone. Like I said he is from one of those countries where one night his family was wiped out. He has proposed marriage to me.
I haven't accepted because of culture, religion, age difference. But he is the only man who has even hinted at marriage. And so here I am, 36. Single and without a better prospect anywhere, dying of thirst for a man in an ocean of men, but not one of them is open to a commitment to me and to give me what I most want, a home and children. Not an apartment.
And I have to say this, so please don't be harsh. This man who fucks me, he's not Caucasian. He's not a black man either. But if I marry him and I have children they will be mixed. So there it is, do I marry this man and have the children I want, and a house that I can make a home? And accept that I will have to change and accept his world views of men and women. Or do I stay the way I am hoping some man I don't have to support shows up who wants a woman my age.
I'm getting to the age that where he clock ticks louder and louder. I don't want to leave this earth never having had a child, children really. Now at 36 I wish I had been one of those girls who got pregnant early and had four kids. Not be that woman who was independent and went to college and have a career, but at the price of an empty womb.
There's a man I know. He's fucked me a dozen times. He's old school and all. Every time he fucks me I have to go through it all over again. That feeling that somehow he's marking me or something. He's not from here, I mean the USA. He's a foreigner, but he's been here forever. It's the attitude really. Believe me, he fucks to own, not for fun.
But he likes me well enough. He had a family back in his country so many years ago but they are all gone and he is alone. Like I said he is from one of those countries where one night his family was wiped out. He has proposed marriage to me.
I haven't accepted because of culture, religion, age difference. But he is the only man who has even hinted at marriage. And so here I am, 36. Single and without a better prospect anywhere, dying of thirst for a man in an ocean of men, but not one of them is open to a commitment to me and to give me what I most want, a home and children. Not an apartment.
And I have to say this, so please don't be harsh. This man who fucks me, he's not Caucasian. He's not a black man either. But if I marry him and I have children they will be mixed. So there it is, do I marry this man and have the children I want, and a house that I can make a home? And accept that I will have to change and accept his world views of men and women. Or do I stay the way I am hoping some man I don't have to support shows up who wants a woman my age.
