Degrading Myself, Turning Into A Gay Slut

I have been having sex with the first guy who initiated me for three years. He's been the only cock I sucked and the only cock to fuck me. He jacks me and sucks me occasionally; but he is definitely top. He was my first and it was really good. I live in a big city on the east coast and gay - bi is no big deal here. My sex partner was a few years older than me and he got married and still wanted to fuck me on the side. I told him no. I haven't had sex for about 4 weeks now. I went to a gay bathouse to purposely degrade myself. I took a room, door open, pile of condoms on the bed next to me, a bottle of lube and me on the bed totally naked. Mostly I was showing my butt to anyone who walked by. First two guys wanted sucked and I sucked them, they came and went. One was wearing a wedding ring, but I did it anyway. The next guy asked if I like anal, and I told him no, I loved it. He shut the door and already nude, I sucked him hard, he had 8 inches, still nicely thick but thin enough to go in easy. I took a condom in my mouth and put it on his cock, lubed him a bit and laid on my stomach. For some reason with my ex I preferred getting fucked missionary with him teasing my nipples, sucking on them and kissing me. But here, I didn't want to see the guys. He got on top of me and jammed it into me in one stroke and proceeded to fuck me hard and fast. He came and I took off his condom and laid it out of the way on the bed with his cum in it.

The next guy did what I was hoping for, fucking me slow and deliberately and with the door open, he and I liked people watching. He too shot, and I laid the filled condom next to the other. This went on for four more guys fucking and 2 more getting sucked off. Then it was 4 more who fucked me, all open door, with plenty of people watching. I had all the condoms of the guys who fucked me. As I stood up wanting to get dressed and leave, two more guys came in. I got spit roasted and after the guy fucking me came he added his condom and the guy in my mouth got behind me doggie and was fucking. At the end, he flipped me over and was doing me missionary, and his friend was sucking on my nipples I shot off on my belly,, and after the guy fucking me came, and took off his condom he licked up my cum.

I shut the door after they left finally and put on my underpants, I looked at 12 filled condoms, I had let 12 different guys fuck me and sucked off 4 more all in one evening. I honestly felt like shit, but felt I got even with my ex. He was the only one who I had sex with and now I was a gay slut, a gangbanged whore. I just stood looking at the condoms lined up on the bed. I tied each of the open ends, and when home took them out and laid them on my bed. I wanted to be reminded of degrading myself, because my true and first lover married a woman. Now I told him he could meet me and fuck me, but only after we have a talk.

I'm going to tell him, and if he wants me to suck his cock I'll do it, if he wants to fuck me I'll do it, and I'm going to go back and get fucked by even more guys right after he's done.