Straight Female / 37
Email Harasser
I have some mental problems that make it hard for me to do the right things in social situations. I’m good hearted and don’t hate anyone. I just have trouble accepting that these two people don’t want to be in my life any longer. So I occasionaly (once every few months) cast aside common sense and write them an email each hoping this time they’ll respond. I was abused as a child so I beg people (usually bad people) who’ve left my life to come back in it. I feel like a stalker or something. But I have a lot of other friends who I have stable friendships with. I talk to my friends daily and they value me. But I can’t stop thinking about two ex-friends who dumped me.
One person told me she wanted to part ways and called me names and accused me of things I didn’t do. She felt like associating with me was bad for her status because of my lack of social skills. I think she found me embarrassing as a friend. She liked being my friend as long as I gave her presents and adulation. We haven’t talked since 2015 but I’ve been emailing her apologies and olive branches ever since. I miss her and I know I must sound like a creepy stalker. I hate that I got on her bad side to begin with. But even more I hate that I lost her. I deserve someone better in my life but I struggle to quit reaching out to her. I’m sure she makes fun of me for it and calls me her email stalker.
The other was a love interest. He was more into me that I was into him. We broke things off over a disagreement about where to eat dinner. We hadn’t fought before or since. But he cut me off over that one thing. I do know he still cares about me and is kind to me. I guess he’s really hurt and has a policy of cutting any woman out of his life who upsets him even once. He’s insecure and sensitive. I miss his friendship and his brain. I don’t think I want to date him again but I dearly miss having him in my life. He isn’t cruel in any way so I know that he probably feels sorry for me and knows I’m emailing him because of my mental issues. I know he’d never make fun of me. But I’m not helping myself by emailing him 5 years after we last spoke.
I know I sound awful. Please don’t judge me. I want to stop emailing these two people. Any help would be appreciation. I’m sensitive so please be kind. I just want to stop sending emails to people who no longer want me in their lives.
One person told me she wanted to part ways and called me names and accused me of things I didn’t do. She felt like associating with me was bad for her status because of my lack of social skills. I think she found me embarrassing as a friend. She liked being my friend as long as I gave her presents and adulation. We haven’t talked since 2015 but I’ve been emailing her apologies and olive branches ever since. I miss her and I know I must sound like a creepy stalker. I hate that I got on her bad side to begin with. But even more I hate that I lost her. I deserve someone better in my life but I struggle to quit reaching out to her. I’m sure she makes fun of me for it and calls me her email stalker.
The other was a love interest. He was more into me that I was into him. We broke things off over a disagreement about where to eat dinner. We hadn’t fought before or since. But he cut me off over that one thing. I do know he still cares about me and is kind to me. I guess he’s really hurt and has a policy of cutting any woman out of his life who upsets him even once. He’s insecure and sensitive. I miss his friendship and his brain. I don’t think I want to date him again but I dearly miss having him in my life. He isn’t cruel in any way so I know that he probably feels sorry for me and knows I’m emailing him because of my mental issues. I know he’d never make fun of me. But I’m not helping myself by emailing him 5 years after we last spoke.
I know I sound awful. Please don’t judge me. I want to stop emailing these two people. Any help would be appreciation. I’m sensitive so please be kind. I just want to stop sending emails to people who no longer want me in their lives.
