My Inner Self Is Susan, I'm Gay And Love Cock

Two stories, 30 years apart.

I was a sophomore in college and was pretty shy. I didn't have friends, and kept to myself. In my Management class a guy sat next to me, he said hi and so on. After a few weeks we were classroom friends and one day he walked out with me and asked me where I went after class. I told him my dorm room and he said he lived off campus and had never seen a dorm room. We went and he was surprised as to how small it was. I told him it was big enough and fortunately my roommate was away all the time, he had a girlfriend. That's when he told me he liked me and he wanted to kiss me. I didn't have time to say no and he was up close to me grabbing my crotch with his hand. He kissed me, gave me a blowjob, and fucked me that afternoon.

After fucking me he told me I was gay and he fucked me many times after that. He lived alone in an apartment and we had sex there and I slept with him there. He liked blowjobs and I got good enough to make him cum. I especially liked laying naked on the bed with him, while he touched me and kissed me. When he fucked me on my back I dreamt I was a girl. I started buying panties and wearing them all day. I was happy to be his 'girlfriend'. I let my hair grow and shaved closely so I didn't have whiskers and told him that I wanted him to call me Susan. I wore dresses and we went out like that.

But life happens and I graduated and he went away and I spent the days working and at night wore my panties (I had a very large selection which I had to wash by hand as I masturbated in them). I had a couple of dresses and learned to walk like a woman and I went out but never let a man pick me up. After I was thirty I stopped with the dresses and kept the panties, and masturbated in them. My alter ego, Susan was there but I was working long hours and Susan stayed at home, except for late hours when I went home to masturbate and pretended to have a man making love to me as I inserted a dildo I had bought while in San Francisco.

By the time I was forty the dildo was in the closet and panties had long since been tossed out with the trash. I met a woman named Leslie and when we fucked I fantasized I was her and I was being fucked. But not much more than that. Leslie wanted to get married but we remained friends, and continued to have sex well into our forties. She moved when her mother needed caring for and after a time we stopped communicating.

Then I turned fifty and went out with some friends to dinner, several couples and a couple of singles, men and women. We went to a Greek restaurant and had the dancing and broken plates experience. When I got home, well after midnight my head was spinning and I fell asleep on the bed without undressing. I woke up to a very hard erection, so hard I couldn't get relief. The erection lasted all day, at times getting worse. I had some hand cream at the house and used it to try and get relief. I went to the internet and watched porn and jerked off, but I couldn't achieve an ejaculation. My erection was worse, painful and hard. I needed relief and I found my dildo that had been put away all those years and fucked myself hard. But still no relief.

By nightfall I had resorted to the internet and the site talked about taking too much ED medication, and that's when it dawned on me that my drinks had been spiked with crushed ED p!lls. The short of it all is that long ago feeling had come back. I went out and bought some panties and wore them, playing with my cock. I bought a new dildo. I bought a dress and shoes. I bought a wig. I bought make up. And one night I went out, not far, to this wine bar close to my neighborhood. And I let a man pick me up. He kissed me deeply and all those repressed feelings were alive. He grabbed my crotch and I grabbed his and we went to my place and I gave him a blowjob and he gave me one too. I lay back on my bed and he got on me between my legs and slipped his cock into my slick lubed ass. It was amazing, a feeling that had been locked away came out. We talked afterwards and I told him my story and that it was my first night out dressed as a woman and that when I wore a dress I went by Susan.

I became his girlfriend, he likes for me to wear panties and dress up. We got places, out to eat, to have a drink. When the opportunity presents itself and we have to be introduced he refers to me as Susan. I love to suck his cock. I love having him on top. I love for him to kiss me. I love to shower with him and take care of his cock. I love for him to stick his index finger up my ass in the shower. I love being Susan for him. The pandemic gave us time together, we honeymooned in his bed. I know his cock, I admire his cock, I love to suck his cock.