I Suppose I Need To Clear My Conscious On This

It's a confession, not something I'm proud of. It was during the summer and we slept till noon. My mother was out, I woke up and still half asleep I headed for the bathroom. I peed, brushed my teeth and returned to my room. The man who looked after the yard and the cars was standing in my room. He took me in his arms, I yelled at him and hit him as hard as I could. He told me to shut up, turned me upside down and carried me to my bed. It wasn't difficult for him to pull my nightgown off. I only had my panties on and he slapped me to get them off. Sex was immediate. I went back to college and I used the local abortion clinic.

I never said anything about that morning or my abortion. I wish I could have honestly told my boyfriend he was first. I had to lie. I lied about my first pregnancy too. So many lies. The man has been dead for over twenty years. Nothing to be gained now. I'm not proud of hiding it. I was angry that he stole my virginity. And didn't want to admit how helpless I was.