My Sir Gallahad

Sixteen, in a car wreck, upside down, scared. A man looked through the window, he returned with tool for breaking windows. He reached inside to unbuckle my seatbelt, but it was jammed. He used the tool to cut the strap and pull me out. I had a broken ankle and bruised ribs from the seat belt, but otherwise was fine. Except for one long lasting 'trauma', I have never been able to get over him.

Love isn't the right word, I do love him but it's a lot more. My parents weren't opposed as much as concerned, I was 16 and he was 35. I went to therapy, spent long hours daydreaming, my grades went down, I couldn't sleep at night. He was kind and respectful, I wrapped my arms around him. I kissed him, he would deflect so I would kiss his cheek but he wasn't always successful.

We were at a dinner party my parents had for him, everyone wanted to meet him. I was still in a boot, but my bruises were mostly gone. When he arrived I couldn't run to him, and my mother held me back. Let the man come to you she told me. When he saw me he came over and I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him, on the lips. He frowned at me, my mother went stiff. Now everyone knew I was his.

In time he had to make love to me, be seen in public with his high school girlfriend. Tongues said nasty things, invented things, called me crazy, the accident must have been worse than it seemed. My psychologist had lots of theories but in the end she said I was sixteen. You know, the night in shinning armor.

Well the feelings are still there, just stronger and more intense. I managed through high school and college, he kept me in school or he wouldn't marry me. Well now I'm married , he has a 'young wife'. I love him, maybe not the way you think of. I love him my way.