My Experience

I was very young when my family hired her to babysit. I don’t know when it started but I had a crush on her. Cute 18yr old 5ft girl. I knew she felt something, she was letting me kiss her when I felt so shy. I knew enough about sex by the time I turned 13, and she taught me more. It was odd being taller than her and looking down when I used to look up. It made me more confident to touch her and want to have her close. I didn’t see her anymore after I turned 14. It may have been after the one day she took my pants off and introduced me to her tongue. But I knew my parents probably suspected it was time to let her go. I think it did something to me. For the longest time I never had a real relationship because I saw woman as objects. I was making girls give me head before I even knew them. It never occurred to me that my experience was never normal.

When I turned 18 I saw her again at restaurant I worked at with some friends. Something in me sparked a longing for lust. We met again and I knew it was only a matter of making a move. I fucked her in some parking lot at night and she broke down in tears after we climaxed. She was seeing someone for the longest time and already had a child. She knew I was just a fling, I was no man to provide for her situation. It probably wouldn’t have changed anything. I had her waiting for me to get off work the next day so that we could have more sex in the backseat. She was my teenage love interest and she let me do anything to her. I got to know her more but I never saw her as a mother. She still had a youthful appearance that anyone could’ve mistaken for a girl my age. He husband had probably knocked her up on accident and didn’t realize that someone else was using her when he was at work. Eventually we both felt guilty and we knew it was best to give it a break. I haven’t seen her since, I think about how she was my first real love but I was too immature to handle it.