Fantasies

I'm often times fantasizing about sex. I don't often get horny from it, and sometimes I'm repulsed by my own thoughts. But usually I really wish to be r**ed, or violently taken. By man way older than me, but not like grandpa age.

Usually I don't fantasize about multiple people taking me. But Lord do I want be dicked down bad. I get wet so easily, but for some reason I don't feel anything. I even bought a vibrator and it did nothing. I think my pussy is broken and can never be used.

Often I just want to be taken and used over and over again by the same person. I'm still very young so I have appeal. I also have big tits (E-F cup), round ass, small waist, big hips and a virgin pussy. I know that I am attractive to certain people because of that. And often times I wish to use my body to my adventage and get someone to have sex with me.

I'm still a virgin, and I know the Lord does not approve of sex before marriage, but I am starting to understand the appeal. The only thing holding me back is that I don't want to sin severly. But it is starting to loosen it's grip on me.

On the one hand I don't want to loose myself to my desires. There are plenty of reasons not to. The Lord first and foremost, but also disease and actual treath to my life (as a young woman, you can never be sure of any man). But sex and sinning sounds so tempting at this point.