Straight Female / 32
Getting Used To My Body, Getting My Body The Way He Likes It
Three times in my life I had anxieties bordering on fear about my body. The first was ten, when my titties started to sprout. I started to smell down there and to get bad breath. And I got chubby. Next came puberty, real size breasts, menstruation, wide hips, a big ass compared to classmates. Chubby, heavy. Pimples, greasy hair, and smell, bad breath, I hated myself. Classmates, pretty, slim, nice sized boobs, looked like mini models.
I grew up with out dating, finished college and no party, it was more of get a job. I went to work with the help of a placement agency. I went into the background where I belonged. By then I weighed 180, on a five foot five frame. The acne was gone, but not the scars, I grew very thin blonde hair on my cheeks, upper lip, chin. I had an overactive testosterone hormone.
Twenty seven, a man tried to kiss me at a party, I shoved him and he tripped and fell over onto the ground. He got up and shoved me into the wall, his hand on my boob, pressing me and immobilizing me. His eyes, his breath, his hands, his knee in my groin, he was incredibly strong. Sex came from beyond, 'bitch' fucking, like a dog, I was holding onto the door frame, he was slamming hard, and harder, telling me to stand firm and not move. When he was done he told me never to be a bitch with him again, 'do you understand'. I had been fucked and was still dressed.
He gave me one more chance. Show him the goods. My body on display, all 200 pounds, my breasts felt huge, my arms by my side. What he saw wasn't what I saw, he was sizing me up. I felt embarrassed of my body, I smelled what I would later learn was the smell of sex. He looked me over, I got another warning, don't ever be a bitch again. Sex was face to face, long enough for him to complete himself. I had a boyfriend I didn't want.
I lost weight, lots of weight, back down to 165. He liked his women solid, I got solid. That's how he likes his women. Solid, firm, strong.
I grew up with out dating, finished college and no party, it was more of get a job. I went to work with the help of a placement agency. I went into the background where I belonged. By then I weighed 180, on a five foot five frame. The acne was gone, but not the scars, I grew very thin blonde hair on my cheeks, upper lip, chin. I had an overactive testosterone hormone.
Twenty seven, a man tried to kiss me at a party, I shoved him and he tripped and fell over onto the ground. He got up and shoved me into the wall, his hand on my boob, pressing me and immobilizing me. His eyes, his breath, his hands, his knee in my groin, he was incredibly strong. Sex came from beyond, 'bitch' fucking, like a dog, I was holding onto the door frame, he was slamming hard, and harder, telling me to stand firm and not move. When he was done he told me never to be a bitch with him again, 'do you understand'. I had been fucked and was still dressed.
He gave me one more chance. Show him the goods. My body on display, all 200 pounds, my breasts felt huge, my arms by my side. What he saw wasn't what I saw, he was sizing me up. I felt embarrassed of my body, I smelled what I would later learn was the smell of sex. He looked me over, I got another warning, don't ever be a bitch again. Sex was face to face, long enough for him to complete himself. I had a boyfriend I didn't want.
I lost weight, lots of weight, back down to 165. He liked his women solid, I got solid. That's how he likes his women. Solid, firm, strong.
