Brother In Law

My husband and I started dating in high school, thru college, and married after he graduated college. His older brother had a small starter house then built a bigger house for his family. He has let us rent the starter house cheap. I finally convinced my husband to move so I wouldn’t have constant crossing the line behavior from his brother. I have never let his brother bed me. His brother would give inappropriate feels often. The first time we were at his brothers pool and my future husband asked for snacks and drink. No one else in the house my BIL came in and from behind pull my bikini top up. I was startled and put down drinks to cover back up. He asked to let him see them. My mistake I let him look and briefly feel my breast. When he bent over to put his mouth on me I quickly went outside and sat in my husbands lap. He took this as an ok to make more advances. Through the years he has sneaked feeling my breast many times. I always push his hands away. Even with people around he gives me butt squeeze until I push his hands off. My BIL has felt between my legs when he catches me unprepared to stop him. I have woken up while napping with him almost getting his finger inside me. My in laws are important to my husband so I don’t want to rat my BIL out to them. His wife is a dear friend to me. I have really expressed to my BIL to stop and I would never cheat on my husband. I will admit that I have had sex with my husband many times and fantasize it being his brother. I almost crossed the line one time when I was six months pregnant with a hormone rush. We were inside the kitchen everyone else out side. I let him rub my pregnant belly and I .was getting worked up. I also let him rub between my legs several seconds. I came to my senses and stopped him. I now really make sure I’m not anywhere alone around him. I have asked many time for his wife to hang with me when we have family get togethers. I now expect his groping when around him and find myself disappointed if he doesn’t feel something when around my BIL. My husband deserves my full loyalty and I’m holding true to my marriage vow.