Saying My Piece

At 15 a friend and me were 'gang banged' by a group of frat boys on a summer beach. Seven years later I myself am in college and I face off against the guy who has wolf eyes for me. I surrendered, in the end after he got me I was going to survive. After he got what he wanted, I lay beside him on my stomach and told him about the gang bang on the beach.

I wasn't looking for sympathy, I was just letting him know I wasn't virgin for him. He took me a couple of days later to a psych professor who referred me to a woman that I could talk to. I couldn't, the only person I could talk to was with him. He took it upon himself to help me navigate out from under the 'shame' of not being a virgin for him. In the end he decided that he wasn't going to consider what happened as losing my virginity, that I was his virgin.

That he saw beyond that night and considered me his virgin really helped me. I called my friend from that night and he told her she was still a virgin and no real man would hold it against her.

I went on to live my life, so did my friend. His accepting us virgins shifted everything, something therapist never did. A man must decide whether you are his virgin, he is the only one who can make that call. There is a big difference between being dragged and held down, and delivering yourself to 'that' man. And it's that man who must decide. He knows whether you were his virgin or you had been used before by another man.