My Fetish

I have a sexual fetish that most females would consider to be disgusting. I am only 30 years old, but I married a much older man. He is 54. He works a lot and when we do have sex (not often) it is very vanilla. I started watching porn and found I had a huge attraction to women being degraded and humiliated. Videos like punishment and throat fucking where girls are held down and throat fucked until they gag, cry or even throw up. Girls exposed and fucked in public, especially white girls being used and humiliated by black men in public.
You wouldn't expect this from me. I have always been very conservative and work in the school system on the grade school level. We live in a suburb of a large city. One day about 6 months ago I just snapped. I took a day off work. After dropping our 4 year old off at daycare I drove into the city and went to the worst part of town possible. I put on makeup and a slutty outfit, got out of the car and just started walking. I got lots of looks, lets just say as a white woman I was in the minority.
I walked past what looked like an abandoned building with 4 black men standing out front. As I passed they made several loud, crude comments. I was excited! I took a deep breath, walked back and approached the men. As I stood among them it took seconds before the first hand was on my ass. I looked the guy in the eyes and told him to "do anything you want to me". He grabbed my hand and led me into the building, there wasn't even a door. It was dirty and run down. It was perfect. The guy said there was a room upsatirs. I stopped and said "no, right here". I slipped my dress over my shoulders and let it fall to the floor. No underwear. The guys were all over me. In seconds I was on the dirty hallway floor sucking 4 big black cocks. I kept looking up and telling the guys "rougher", "deeper". The guys were eager to please. I ended up with one of them holding my arms behind me back as the men took turns throat fucking me. I gagged, choked, tears were flowing. My makeup was a mess. I looked like a raccoon. Only one of the men chose to keep going until he got off. My first time having a cum in my throat! The other 3 men wanted white pussy. There I was just inside the door on a dirty floor with 3 black men lined up behind me. One by one they all came in my white pussy. I was a filthy mess when they were done.
I have done this several more times since then and i am getting bolder. I have been used in an open alley, in cars parked on the street, and the last time right in the middle of a bar as people watched.
I cannot help it, I am having so much fun.