Figuring It All Out

I'm slowly figuring out what I want with my sex drive. First it was occasional and I was embaressed about it, but now I am slowly learning what I want. For some reason it is someone older than me. (As in I don't mind calling someone daddy and such.)

I also realised I am into BDSM. The pain part not so much (would be lovely for punishinments though), but I'm into the control aspect of it. Like a dom tying me up and having that control over me, that really turns me on. I do fantasise about pain though.

One particular fantasy I've had is that my dom would be punishing me by hitting my pussy with a riding crop, and than start fucking me with it. And when I would disobey him, he would take it out of my pussy and start hitting my breasts with it.

But I don't really know where to find an older gentleman who is also a dom, who is willing to start out a bit gentle because I've never done anything before. Reliable sources are barely found here on the Dutch internet.