Recovering Addict

I grew up as an overly horny kid. Ruined relationships that could’ve flourished because of an addiction. In my teens I dated girls for the only purpose of sex. My first gf was beautiful, big tits, big ass blond girl. She was like a leech, loved to pleasure my cock and look me in the eyes. She loved being dominated and I loved using her. Getting wet and dirty with her was like living in a fever dream. Truthfully I lusted over her, I was addicted to her warm throat and body. When we broke up I took it hard. I realized I didn’t know what I would do with my sex drive and resorted to masturbating and porn. It really messed me up. I couldn’t get hard as I used to and girls noticed it. Except for one, she truly cared. She was my friends sister. I guess she felt bad for me when she found out. I appreciated her, she could have teased me and bullied me but didn’t. Instead she asked me to trust her, and went down on me in her parents living room. Edging me was her way of getting me back on track. We made a pact, no porn or self masturbating. It was tough, but soon after I graduated into her pussy. I was into her, and railing her was my way out. I was impressed with myself, she could barely walk the first time we fucked. I was way older than her and bigger. Perhaps she wanted it from the beginning. I had to move out of town and haven’t seen her since. I feel bad, but I hope to reconnect one day and thank her for caring.