I Know It Was Wrong

by Anonymous on Jul 19, 2023 at 4:36 AM

I don't know if you live in the USA, but I've been thinking that we in the USA are not as open with our partners about sex, our fantasies and desires. I'm not passing judgement on you or him. But, maybe he has sexual fantasies he feels you won't be willing to do, or has asked and you turned him down, or he's ashamed to even ask you. Too many of us keep things inside for whatever reason and it leads to something like this. He cheats, you catch him, then you cheat. At first you were angry at him then felt good to get back at him and maybe you will feel guilt. Eventually the two of you might separate. what if you were to sit down with him when you found out he cheated and asked him why. What does she have or do that I don't? What are you looking for? What fantasies do you have that you can't or won't share with me? Tell him those things about you. Open the communication and who knows where it will lead. Maybe you will develop an open marriage, maybe invite others into your bed, or maybe just realize you have to move on. Whatever happens the two of you should be happy and not have to live in secret.

I'm not a doctor or therapist. I've just been thinking a lot about this and discussing it with strangers online because I'm in that situation where I don't share with my wife my desires. For me at 69 it might be too late, but at 37 you have a long life ahead of you and deserve to live it happily.