Going Back To My Family, Where Men Are Men And Women Have Babies

After college I got a job with a progressive company in New York. All the men were gay and the women were gay. No one was straight. I guess some were in the middle, some women were men and visa versa. Although I had a Master's degree from Columbia, I had a job a junior secretary could fill with a good high school diploma. But I was happy, I was with 'my' people.

I had a very intense relationship in college. It went from casual to every night in a matter of minutes. She moved in with me, we had sex and had sex and had sex. It was exhilarating, coming from a small town in Ohio. But I scored big on the SATs, I had near perfect GPA, I was a minority, the first one to finish high school. I got into Columbia and got my Master's in Latin American Art and I wrote my thesis on the role of art in politics. I was a good fit where I went to work, not one spoke in short sentences, no one used monosyllabic words. And the women were all good looking, and aggressive, and sex was rampant.

Reality came when I was at a family reunion, in honor of my grandma's 90th birthday. No one spoke English, all the food was home cooking, alcohol was cheap beer and no wine. Everyone was boring. I got shoved up against a wall coming out of the bathroom. "Why did you come?" "No one wants you here". It was an older cousin. I have two dozen, not counting the cousins from other women. He pressed me and I said nothing. Not a word came out of my mouth. I went into little girl world when spoken to by an adult male. He turned me around for some reason, my face was now to the wall. I felt his hand grab my ass cheek, "you have a nice ass now". He took me to one of the bedrooms, with a bunkbed and a single bed and fucked me on it. My first fuck. "You like that, don't you". "Now I fuck you, no one touches you".

I went from the 21st century to the stone age. From a progressive lesbian to a doing a man's laundry. I got married, before my belly showed. Everyone including my grandmother was happy for me, glad that I had married my cousin. Women like me need a man who has the cojones to keep you pregnant and respectful. I fit right in, with the other women, who argued over who's husband's cojones were bigger. "Don't be fooled, he's small but he knows how to fuck" said one cousin. "For that he's a man". In that world I regressed to growing up. Proud to be home, and showing off my big belly. "You're going to have a boy, I can tell" said my aunt. "Suck his dick, when you're big like that you don't want him looking for another woman. Suck his dick."

That world, Columbia and that job in Manhattan, were old memories. I couldn't believe that I had been a lesbian. The good news is that I had saved myself for my husband. There is no question that I love being around women, old women like my grandmother, my aunt's and girl cousins, my sisters, my nieces. Women make me feel at home.

The men are watching football, they use a Spanish language broadcast, they are avid fans. That makes the American. I stand in the door, with my son and watch the men. One day he is going to be with them, six maybe seven, but now he is two and my belly is big again. I feel like an elephant. "Don't worry" my aunt tells me "this time you are having a girl".