Being Gay Today

I have to admit that the first time I really paid attention to other boys was when I was in summer swim team. I was good, much better than most boys my age, so I was pushed up a grade to swim with the seventh and eighth graders. I remember like a dream the afternoon sitting on the bench after showers and just looking at all those naked boys and their dicks. It is the day I first thought about sucking a boy's dick. My attention also went to their naked butts. I stared and was called out for it by one of the older boys from another swim team.

It was the beginning of my voyeur stage. I watches boys in the restroom, some had little cocks and others had bigger cocks. I dreamt dreams at night, my first wet dreams, of sucking so and so's cock. Later I had much deeper dreams of so and so kissing me and sucking his dick and being naked with him. It was in junior high, seventh, eighth, ninth grade. I had several crushes with boys, usually an older boy. Curiously what I wanted most was for him to kiss me.

In the tenth grade we had an overnight party for a friend who turned sixteen. It was several boys and we had a late movie and stayed up later and when it came time to go to bed this one boy got in bed with me. He got friendly, put his arms around me and humped my ass with his hard dick and came all over my back. It was my first fuck. He swore me to silence. I sucked him later on. He wouldn't kiss because he thought that was queer. We never did have penetration, but he got on my back and humped me and came on my back.

My first crush kiss came when I was a senior with another boy who was a transfer into our school. It was a long kiss, with his hand down my pants and heavy breathing. He was a practiced homosexual, and he liked oral sex and grinding cocks together to cum. We were seniors so we had well developed cocks by then and when we came we had a lot of cum that we spread around our cocks with our hands. One late afternoon I was at his house and we had our first full penetration sex. It was his first time too.

College and later in the single world I had several sexual partners, but none that really filled my emotional needs. It was during those days that I went home for the Holidays and ran into the boy, now a man, of that sleepover in the tenth grade. This time we kissed and we had full penetration sex and I woke up with him. He confessed to me that I had never left his mind and I was soon emotionally involved with him. We live in another town, not where we grew up, there aren't the jobs we need. There is an active gay community where we live but I won't say we are that involved. Our friend's group is made up of both gay and straight people, and some in between.