Boys Will Be Boys, But Some Boys Are Girls Inside

I am the youngest child of four. The fourth son. For some reason my mother decided that I was going to be the girl she didn't have. I was Christened John, which became Jack, then Jackie. I wore long hair golden hair, locks is what my mother called them. I wore inside clothes, dress up clothes, dresses and gowns and shoes and j*welries that she made for me. I was proper and I sat to use the toilet, don't stand that's not the right way. I had toys, books, a tea set, my bedspread was light pink, and I had curtains on my window that she had made. I helped her with the housework, a woman's work is never done. I did not play outside with the boys.

There are pictures, in those days mostly black and white, my mother with her sons and her little darling Jackie, in a summer dress and long blonde hair. My mother taught me how to kiss, the proper way, how to hide my pipistick under the panties I wore everyday. I went to school as Jackie, and the teachers went along. The boys and girls at school went along. It was a small school, I think in the whole school maybe fifty students. Several grades were held in one classroom at a time, depending on how many kids were fourth or tenth grade. I went to the other girl's birthday parties, and when my mother took me shopping we went to the girl's section to find something to wear. My brothers called me Jackie. I graduated from high school as Jackie and helped my mother with the books and things at my family's plumbing business and store.

I first got kissed by a man who came to the store. He was an old man, probably in his forties but old for us. He lived alone and had been in the war and he really liked to kiss me and play with my pipi and I liked to be with him. He liked big dresses and dainty panties and one day he showed me just how much he loved me, and I went home sore but happy. But soon after than my mother died all of a sudden, she had a weak heart they said. And I had to fend for myself and take care of Jackie. Or course I knew the difference between a 'boy' and a 'girl', I had spent my youth with girls, some of which laughed at my pipi and I had seen how they had nothing between their legs. I had facial hair and I had a grown up pipi, like the old man who first kissed me and made me happy. He called my pipi my happy stick.

My brothers had all gone their way, the plumbing store closed after my father died. I left town to find work, and was hired at a furniture store. I wore more appropriate clothes for a young man, although very feminine clothes, and I wore make up, just a touch to hide my facial hair, and I fell hard in love with Ralph the man who owned the store. He was distant to me, he had a friend Jer, a man who was always nice to me. Jer gave me some of his clothes, that were all very nice but he had tired of them and had moved onto something new. Jer liked to find nice panties and he bought me some to wear. Jer wasn't surprised one day when I was picked by one of their friends to be his personal friend. A man much like the man when I was still at home.

I worked in furniture and became a successful salesman in my own right. I had a long relationship with Adam and we were close friends with Jer and Ralph. That Jer and I had manicures, and were particular about our hair, that we wore soft cashmere sweaters and we 'loved' women's underwear, that we were light in the loafers, and we spoke with our hands, all those things are true, but Jer taught me more than anyone to be me. I have been Jackie all my life and Adam was the man of my life.

Happy Trails, wear bows in your hair, don't shop on line when selecting what panties to buy, feel them, hold them to your cheek, they are your special pair. Be gentle and show the man in your life that your his special one. And enjoy your pipi, it's the source of so much joy. It's your happy stick. And it's okay to be a girl inside.