MY FIRST LOVER

I saw something when I was a young boy that never leaves my mind. I saw two men having sex, one was leaning against a wall with his pants down and the other one was behind him fucking him with his pants down. This was in Villahermosa Mexico when I lived there with my family and my father worked for an oil company. The thing is that I have this recurring dream of being against the wall. I have wet dreams, and in my imagination I have a man completely entering me.

I went out with a friend after work one day and he took me to what turned out to be a gay bar, or at least gay happy hour. I was 23 and working for real wages for the first time. We ordered and went to the wall and stood there to get used to seeing in the almost total darkness. As I was standing there he touched my elbow and pulled me with him to a small table on the other side of the room close to the dance floor.

My eyes were now accustomed and I saw two men slowly dancing to the music, with their arms around their necks. I saw this other man kissing a real young guy, he had to be over 21 or how else did he get in there but he looked 15 even from where I was sitting. My friend grabbed my hand to get my attention, he was going to the bar for another beer. I saw him walk away, a casual walk in his boots, and his broad smile when he came back. He was totally comfortable and I was not. He put his hand on my leg several times. He never tried to kiss me or anything like that but it was gratuitous touching. He wiped a speck off my cheek with his hand.

I went to the men's room, what else? I guess they had an pretend girls room. I stood against the urinal with my zipper down and a guy standing two feet away with his zipper down, leaning back and I could see his penis in full view as he peed. I thought to myself, what if my friend came in right when I was at my most vulnerable and forced me against the wall. Just the thought ran through me like a hot flash. I turned, but no one was there and the other man was gone.

We walked back to the office, it was dark by then and we passed a small restaurant we frequented at lunch and went in. It sold sandwiches and other quick meals at lunch, but now at night it was plates on the tables and a waiter who greeted us with 'high boys'. We ordered the special, tilapia and vegetables and new potatoes. We had already drank three beers and I couldn't drink another one, I had a Coke and he had another beer. His hand rubbed up and down my leg 'you know this has been real nice'. His hand didn't leave my leg. Did I dare go to the bathroom? What if that waiter came in? I excused myself and he laughed 'need help big boy?'

He came in, the bathroom was real small and he put his arms around me from behind and took my penis in his hands 'here let me help you'. He was right against me, I could feel him against my butt cheeks. He held my penis and let me pee and then he shook it for me 'like that?' And he turned me around and kissed me. I couldn't leave, I was trapped in that small bathroom. 'Why don't you come home with me, you can pick up your car in the morning'. The next kiss was really long in my mind, pulled up against him. My mouth couldn't make the words, 'ok' I said, I don't know if he heard me.

We walked with his arm around my shoulders. Talking nonsense, nothing important. We got to his building and went in and up the elevator. I wondered if there were cameras, he walked me in with his arm around me. In his apartment, he had an efficiency, the bed wasn't made, it was just thrown together. There was a small kitchenette and a small table with two chairs, and a small bathroom. It's expensive to live downtown.

He kissed me some more, this time running his hand across my behind. I wanted to speak, to say something but all I did was close my eyes. My shirt buttons came undone, his warm hand on my chest. My belt, my snap, my zipper and my pants down to my ankles. I had to kick off my shoes, to step out of my pants and then my underwear. His mouth was hot on my penis. His hands holding my butt cheeks were hot. I had a semi erection as he continued. I woke up the next morning, close to him in bed. still naked. I knew from the feeling that he had sex with me.

'Do you drink coffee?' I heard him say, getting up, naked like me. He walked across the floor to the kitchenette and put a pot of coffee on. And then facing me, 'hey big boy, you did all right last night'.

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