My Story And How I Am Where I Am I Love Being Female

I had a close friend, we were really best friends at school although we come from different backgrounds. She was open, adventurous, had little parental supervision and pushed me to do things that embarrassed me and made me feel bad afterwards. She came from another neighborhood, she lived with her mother in an apartment complex. I came from an upper middle class home with both parents and siblings. She loved to spend time at my house, my own room with my own bathroom. She pushed me into sex with her, used mirrors and her camera to show me my pussy. She shaved me and leaned over me feeding me her titties. She was wide open about wanting to be lesbian.

Then one day she didn't come to school. She didn't answer my texts, she didn't answer her phone. The school let us know that the night before she and her mother had died in a car accident and that there were therapists available for anyone that wanted to talk. I went to them, we talked, but I kept our sexual behavior away from them. Apparently it was a drunken driver, uninsured, in a stolen car. Like that, she was gone, neighbors helped bury them. My parents helped with a buying the plots for them. I cried at night, I shaved myself so that I could always look like she liked me. I withdrew socially. I finished school and went to college and got a job working for a company downtown. Everything was normal, but I wasn't over her. I still hurt inside and missed her.

At my job I met this woman, I won't call her a girl because she was older and a lot more mature than I was. She slowly got it out of me, she told me that missing a lover is the hardest thing in the world. But that I should try and date a man, I might like it. Having a man and a family would be an ok thing to do. But it was easy to talk about but not easy to do.

One day she made love to me. It wasn't so spontaneous. She said if I didn't want a man then I wanted a woman and she ate me alive, she finished shaving me, she ate me until I was going off like the fourth of July, she was all woman all over me. I don't think that I had ever spent so much time with a pussy in my mouth, at least I don't remember. I do know that I gave in completely and I responded like I was crazy. She and I became lovers and friends and I spent a lot of time with her. Little did I know that at work she wasn't anonymous, people knew she was lesbian and now they knew that I was lesbian too.

What was a total secret is that she had a male lover. A man who helped her when she needed it. A man who came over when I wasn't there. A man she didn't tell me about. A man who promoted her with me, kept him that much further in the shadows. He was married and he didn't kneed a scandal. But one day, he showed up without notice. He came over and he took over and he was not interested in talking. He took her and used her and used her again until whatever was eating him was over. He looked at me intimidatingly. He looked at me. After he had left she apologized and she told me about him. Something had gone wrong at work and he took it out on her. Lucky, she said, because he kept asking about me.

I had never been in a room where a man looked at me like that. Sure I had be sized up but not with those eyes. It scared me. She kept me at length, away from him, but he pressured her until she gave in and gave me to him. She stayed to make sure that whatever he did was ok with her and she kept him from going full crazy on me. But any sex with him was crazy for me. And it didn't end there, he got to where he wanted me and it became common for us to be together with him. The sex was foreplay for when she and I had sex afterwards, but it became necessary. The more he fucked me the more I wanted him to fuck me. I wanted to get fucked, I wasn't just about making her happy with me.

Where we are today is in this three way. He has backed off a little, his relationship with his wife is better, she just had another baby. He helps us out financially when we need it, and he comes over for 'attention' by us girls. But his mind is not with us, he's made up with his wife now. I can feel it.