Why Does Everything Have To Be So Hard

In college I had my first lesbian affair. She was older, a foreign student. She left and I stayed behind, hurt, alone, embarrassed. A secret affair. I had to deal with my affair, contemplate that I was lesbian. Not an easy thing to do or accept.

I went to work right out of college. I met T at work, we became lunch partners, friends, did everything together. We moved in together. We had a birthday celebration for her brother. During the party he pulled me down into his lap to see if anything 'came up'. I was totally embarrassed, he stood up and tossed me over his shoulder and carried me into my room where he had sex with me. The 'cheers' after he was done made it even more uncomfortable. It was a set up by T for me to lose my virginity and 'grow up'.

I was in my bed after everyone left, feeling very alone. T came in and 'rubbed' my poor little pussy that had been fucked. Kisses all over my face, kisses on my 'titties'. I woke up with T in bed with me.

Many months later, I learned that T gave herself to her brother. T is my bedtime lover, lots of affection. But she lends herself to her brother. If I want to be included he doesn't 'mind'. It's hard to participate, but I do because she wants me to. T is not ashamed or embarrassed that she has sex with her brother. It wasn't even a surprise when she confessed to me that they have been sexual since they were still at home together. I'm the third wheel. I'm in love with her and that makes her relationship with her brother that much harder.