Confessions Of A Closeted Gay Man

I was in the fourth grade at a sleepover when I sucked my friend's dick. It was hard and it felt so good, the soft skin and all. I remember it well even if it was so long ago. He went on to become a doctor and I went on to become a nobody special. I never talked to him about it and after we got through elementary we never saw each other again.

I was in college and got a job working at the Biology building lab. Student jobs were cleaning mostly and my job was cleaning and taking care of the bullfrogs. These were used for dissection. A grad student worked there and he asked me to come by and we would watch a game. He had stolen a couple of bullfrogs for us to eat the frog legs. I was not into that, but he insisted and I did my best. I swallowed them down with a beer.

During the game, he was wearing athletic shorts, and I could see his dick. I got nervous and could not take my eyes away from it. His hairy legs and his dick, I didn't know he didn't have any underwear under his athletic shorts. He looked at me and smiled. I went back to looking at his dick.

He stood up and dropped his shorts, and stood there in only his tshirt and his hairy legs and hairy bush and his dick. I sat there stone silent, not being able to take my eyes of his dick. He started to rise and let his dick fall, when I looked up at him he smiled. Walking over he was now in front of me, his dick a few inches from my face. I opened my mouth and he put his hand on my head and his dick in my mouth. Later I learned what savored meant, but that day I only knew what I wanted. I wanted to savor his dick in my mouth.

He got hard and I savored his dick with my mouth and tongue and sucked him as well. He told me to jerk him off with my hand and he came in mouth. My first blowjob was a success. He wanted to get naked after that and we got on his bed and he sucked my dick, and after a while he got between my legs and I got fucked. The memory of that night is seared into my mind. I loved every minute of it, I can still taste his cum in my mouth, and I can still feel his dick in my ass.

He was gay, and he was a top. And I became his boyfriend. It was sexual thing, there were never any feelings involved. I just wanted to suck his dick, that's all. And when he wanted to fuck, well I was there and his dick was hard, and I let him fuck me.

Between that gay affair in college and twenty years later I only had one other connection, with a man I met on an airplane. We were staying in the same hotel and he came to my room and I went along with him. Each time I enjoyed it, but after it was over I felt like I shouldn't do that anymore.

I was 43 when I really got involved with a man. He was a retired motorcycle cop in his early fifties. It's with him that I hung around the gay community. By then gay pride was a thing, and a lot of gays were 'out'. I never came out, I had no desire to do so. I stayed with my retired cop for ten years, until medical matters of age took him from me. I can say that he is the only man I ever had feelings for.

I live alone, I have a maid service. Young Mexican women. I have a yard crew. Young Mexican men. There is one man, I think he is in his later thirties, Jose. He is smooth and very gay and it's with him that I play around. No feelings, it's sex that I want. I love to suck his dick and love having him cum in my mouth. As to giving him access to my ass, well that happens too.