What I Have Become

I have found myself late in life as a bi cock and cum loving man.i live a masculine str8 life to everyone but a few I have met exploring my bi side.
I find myself desiring the pleasures being a submissive cock and cum loving man .
I think often how I got here. The cocks I’ve sucked. The handful of cocks that have spread my hole.
The few times I’ve had a hard cock feel my hole raw. The memories of each experience .
The times I have submitted to two men at once. The mental submission is undescrible.
I have been as careful as humanly possible.
I have cum handsfree 5 times in my life from the mental and physical pure pleasure of a better man’s cock fucking my hole.
Over time even though I have had minimal anal experience . Much less than I desire. I now think and call my hole a pussy…
I truly become a submissive when a man takes charge or even when I visit my regular buddies bedroom. He isn’t dominant but I feel submissive . I take his cock and balls in my mouth every time I see him, we are just two str8 men till we enter his bedroom, then like a switch we assume our roles. I have swallowed so much of his seed….
Sometimes when I leave his house I have a huge wet spot on my pants. This excites me. Driving home with the taste of his cum in my mouth. My nipples are still hard and sensitive . My undies and pants are wet from just getting into my role….
I will not have cum. But sometimes if I’m alone when I get home. I get naked watch gay porn. Put myself in each situation . I sometimes clamp my nipples.
My mind is spinning. I sometimes watch or listen to gar sissy porn.
I lightly stroke myself. Touching my hard nipples that are clamped…
I go till I can’t go any longer till my own cum finds is way into an eruption of cum…
I still enjoy str8 sex . But I’m at my best when in my gay submissive role…