I Love To Be Mocked, Shamed, Humiliated And Made To Feel Pathetic

For as long as I can remember my biggest fetish has been to feel like I am the most pathetic woman alive. I am a 33 year old single mom. I had my daughter when I was really young. I have been single since I had her with maybe 1 or 2 one night stands. That is nearly half my life being single. Now that she has graduated and moved out I have the place to myself and I just pretty much eat, sleep and masturbate. I get money from the state, my home is paid for fully by my parents. Before I had her I was fairly active and was skinny. Since I had her my body went downhill fast. I've always had bigger tits but they were firm and perky. But since I had her my tits started to sag at a young age. My belly has gotten bigger and fatter, My ass fatter(and not in the good way) , My pussy is hairy and would probably be considered loose and I was told looks like roast beef. My sex life is fucking my own fingers multiple times a day. I feel like such a loser and yet I also love it. I want a partner still. But I want them to openly cheats on me and never fuck me. Pretty much just use me for a free place to stay and room to fuck people in and make me listen. I love when I go to bars, clubs or even the beach and people look at me in disgust for wearing clothes that are too tight or a bikini that shows my big belly. I love when I over hear people call me fat and ugly. It makes my pussy so wet. Is there a name for this fetish?