Once A Goody Two Shoes, You Always Are

I am, was, a goody two shoes. I don't like parties where people get drunk or high. I don't understand how a girl can have sex with someone they don't know. A date, a real date. A respectful date. My mother told me 'tell them to keep their hands to themselves'.

I went with my family to a weekend beach house with my father's partner. I was 18. They are doctors. The daughter was sixteen, so I took care of her. Big sister. We went for a walk on the beach at sundown. Fifteen minutes each way. Out of site of the beach house these three guys started walking beside us, asking dirty questions. Like 'do you want to fuck?'. We tried to turn and go back, but they blocked us. At this place on the beach they grabbed our wrists and dragged us into the dunes. It was what you think, a r**e. They taped our mouths shut.

Three guys, two girls. They took turns, we got it all three ways, mouth, ass and up front. By more than one, probably all three. We were left alone before sunup. He police won't look for you if you haven't gone missing for 24 hours. We kept what happened between us, we said we got lost, and sat and waited until sunup. There were no cellphones, and we didn't know the phone number there.

I went to college that fall. My new roommate met a guy and he asked her out. She said she would go with him on a double date. My date was a much older guy, 27. He was 'serious', he had worked doing something secret. He would not talk about it. I told him my secret. He said that was a gangbang. A hell of a way to cross the Rubicon. I didn't understand what he meant, the Rubicon, once you cross it you can't go back. He looked at me with real cold eyes, 'you will never be a virgin again'.

That night he had me for fun. We were at our college apartment, we lived off campus, he had me until three a.m. when my roommate got home. She found us both naked, standing in the kitchen getting water to drink. Naked. And her date was with her. She said he didn't kiss her, he didn't lick ashtrays. She smoked. Naked. We stood there naked. She knew what he'd done. Naked. I was totally naked.

We shared a room, he slept with me, and had sex with me when we woke up. I was a shitty teeny with a man almost ten years older. I got respect. I wasn't a goody two shoes right then.

I got married six weeks later. Didn't tell my parents I'd eloped. He told them three years later at Thanksgiving. We got married in the church after that, and my mother gave me a virgin nightgown. From that day on I was a goody two shoes again. And I still am.