I Decided To Try Letting Another Guy Fuck Me And To Suck Him

When I was in my early teens I fucked another boy my age. Sometimes he'd suck me to completion but he didn't like that much. He didn't want me sucking him and definitely didn't want to fuck me. We tried once and it hurt too much, I was too tight. In my early 20s I went home with a very petite, femme guy I met on the road in a hotel bar. I got sucked and I fucked him twice before going back to my room in the morning. He was there another 3 days and I took him as much as I wanted during that time.

Other than those two guys it's been girls or women for my whole life. I lost my wife a couple of years ago to disease. I really don't want to go through the BS of dating and finding someone, figuring out likes and dislikes etc. I decided that I want to go with another guy again, but I want a guy to fuck me, but don't want the pain I remember from being in my early teens.

I decided to get a guy with a small cock to initiate me both sucking him off, and letting him fuck my ass and cum inside me. I really want to see what it is like and want to do this. Now. . . how do I find someone who is small and willing ?