Travel Find

My wife and I are getting ready to go away for the weekend a few weeks ago. I pull out my bag and then I pull out her bag. Hers has something in it. I reach in and find an 8” black rubber dildo. My heart sank and I dropped it back in the bag.

That entire day was spent trying to figure it all out. I had no answer, so I texted her directly about it.

Deirdre, I found something in your bag this morning.

Nick, I am sorry. I really need to speak with you tonight about this.

She ends up telling me that she has had this toy for about two years. She takes it on trips with her but typically issues it at home a couple of times per week. She then dropped the bomb - she was sleeping with her black coworker and this toy helps to loosen her up for him.

I haven’t recovered from this yet. We have three kids in middle school or above and I am just not sure if divorce is the right path.

Trust nobody!

Comments

Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 11, 2024 at 9:04 AM

Divorce her. Cheating is a deal breaker. Your kids can handle it.

(2)  (0)
Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 11, 2024 at 12:26 PM

Nick:

I’m going to council against doing anything quickly.

This landed on you all at once. You’re in shock. You have a ton of stuff to process. You need time to work through it, and you’ll need to work through it with Deirdre. Now the good side.

However much you were shocked and wonder how she could do this, Deirdre does care for you. Her simple words, “I am sorry” tells you that. She was not angry at being discovered. She did not belittle you or insult you. In fact, Nick [and I know this may seem WAY ‘counterintuitive], but she actually respected you. How so?

1] She asked for conversation, and 2], she spoke honestly. She held nothing back. She told the whole story.

Together, these things tell us that she very much WANTS your marriage to continue.

But even more — and despite what has happened — these things tell us that Deirdre is a good person for all these things. And right now, she needs to hear that from you. And other things.

Deirdre knows that your mind is reeling, that you have dozens of questions, that you are a bundle of emotions, that you need to know where things stand between you both, that you need to learn how to negotiate and navigate your relationship from this point on.

Again, she needs to hear this from YOU. And she needs to hear you say that you love her — AND to see that you MEAN it. Which you do.

The thing is, Nick, the issues I named [and many more] — you NEED Deirdre to work through WITH YOU. You can explore these things only TOGETHER. If you are to heal and come out stronger, you must do this.

If you’re struggling to put your thoughts together, you are welcome to copy-paste and print my post and share it with her.

Whatever you decide to do, please Nick, meet Deirdre at the same emotional place where she met YOU.

… We have to talk.
… I feel broken.
… I don’t understand my emotions.
… Whatever it is you feel and need to say.

Speak as freely, calmly and quietly as she spoke to you. Tell her everything. Ask her to commit to work through this with you.

For now, you need to find your emotional grounding. And Deirdre needs to know that she is safe. And the spirit [attitude, way] you approach this can either build bridges or burn them. Deidre is the mother of your children. For everyone involved, you need to rise to the equation.

If you want, I can try to facilitate this. I believe that there is potential for you and Deidre to become closer than ever before.

Over to you, Nick!

(1)  (1)
Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 12, 2024 at 5:29 AM

if you don't divorce her then your kids will never respect you. Make sure you take her for all she's worth and ruin her. The only way you come out as a man is if you throw her out and take her for all she's worth. Unless you can find a side piece, which let's be honest - you can't, or you would've by now - then you need to divorce her and make her regret it.

(1)  (0)
Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 15, 2024 at 2:22 AM

I told her to leave last night. I just could not live with it.

(0)  (0)

Comment this

Can't read the image? Click here to refresh