Some Thoughts About Getting Old And All That

I know that for some of you, the gay thing is a bit out of your wheelhouse. Well, it is also out of our wheelhouse but we have to live with it. I've known I'm gay pretty much since I was a teenager. I sucked cock at that age and later bottomed for men several times my age. I found that I was stuck in a world where being gay was the end of everything. Not that there wasn't an active gay scene, it is just that it wasn't public.

Over time I learned to live with it. Accept it. I had my series of short term sexual affairs, and one friendship that has lasted all these years. My friend was married for many years and has a daughter and two grandchildren. She's a mess and I find myself interceding with financial matters, as he can't deal with her. In short, she's an alcoholic and changes partners at the drop of the hat. She can also be nice when she needs you, but can be down right rotten when she wants distance.

We have a constant later in life friendship. Neither one of us is able to get it up but we are close otherwise. In my life prior to age taking over, I was always the one looking to be topped and that's how I met him. I sure do miss those days, when a 'hard' life meant something we looked forward to.