I Wish I Could Have Sex Like I've Read About

When I was fifteen and my younger sister thirteen we were r**ed by a three men who broke into our house. Who they are, no one knows. Bad people.

It wasn't until after college that I was able to engage in sexual intercourse. The man was patient enough, but it doesn't erase what happened. My sister escaped into a convent.

One day I hope to engage in sex. Without reliving what happened. The man I'm involved with takes his time to get me aroused. Get me hot. But I fake it, I can't surrender myself. I want to, I do, but I feel that was taken from me. I don't expect a man to stick around a frigid woman.