A Confession Like Many Others, Being Queer In The Closet

Compared to some, this isn't much of a confession. I am coming out, as I have been quietly guarding the moment. I live in a conservative family in a conservative neighborhood, where such things are not out in the open. I know that I am not alone, far from it. We can spot a queer cat just as easy as the queer cat can spot us.

My first experience was at camp when I was ten. It was a communal shower and all us boys showered at the same time. Ralph was there, and he pulled on my penis. I liked it from the moment his hand grabbed me. He 'made' me grab his penis and we stood under the shower exploring another boy's penis. We got hard enough and jerked on each other. I did want to put his penis in my mouth, but never bent over.

Ralph and I became camp friends and we had several penis encounters. We never kissed, or did anything else, except play penis handling. But it was a momentous occasion. These things are burnt into your memory.

Later on, high school, I was on the track team. By then everyone had full pubes and were all in good shape and we showered together. There was one guy, Aron, who I played eyes with. He would stand without moving and I would stare at his penis. It took a lot for us to break eye contact. One day, we were dressing, and I had one foot on the bench drying my leg, and Aron walked by and ran his finger up my butt crack. Still today it sends shivers down me. After then the eye contact was serious and he motioned with his hips shaking his penis and I answered with that look that says don't tease me.

Aron's is the first penis I sucked, the first penis I held that was totally erect, first penis that rubbed up and down my butt crack. Aron's was the first penis to 'break' my anal sphincter, and penetrate me. I was for that age in love with Aron, but I never felt the same feelings from Aron. Aron was the Alpha, a natural top and I was the Beta, a natural bottom. He did the make love part and I laid back and let him. At that time it didn't cross my mind that in sex I was the submissive. I just wanted Aron to kiss me.

College was all over the place, I sucked a lot of cock and had a lot of guys fuck me. I was a boy slut, a queer, and over expressive. I left college with my mind set, my desires on fire, and returned home to the conservative life I had grown up in. Here, where I live, it's all about the closet. The man that I suck is in the closet, this man fucks me. He's older and well positioned in society and he got me the job at the bank that I work in. I suppose that the natural submissive in me has me be in love with him. He's indifferent, he just likes having his cock sucked by a queer and likes queer fucking better than women.