I Am Taking This First Step To Expose Myself

I have a lifelong fixation with men, very little with women. I went to an all boys school and joined the military after college. I was deployed and resigned my commission as a Captain. I went back to college to get an MBA before entering the civilian workforce. In the military I worked for the procurement office, and the MBA reinforced what I had learned there. I feel comfortable in a gym setting and running marathons. I am naturally attracted to wise men. I'm gay.

I'm sexually passive, always have been. It took a long time for me to accept it. I suppose that I had to meet that man. I've met that man and I'm much more comfortable now with him. I'm not feminine. I have kept my orientation out of the profession, never opting for being public. The man that I'm with is a private person, a person in authority. For both of our professions, being public is not out intentions.

Some time ago, I bought some women's underwear, I wanted to know what it would be like. I tried several styles and found a pair that suited me. I wear them privately, I have several pair now. I wear them when I am on house duty, doing laundry or cleaning the bathroom, it helps me get in the mood and I get aroused when I'm wearing them. I dismissed it as a kink but it's real. I bought a bow and tied it around my penis. I never had so much trouble keeping my feelings secret, I want to show him.

This is the first time I've expressed myself on this topic. I'm really a private person. But I am struggling with a surge of emotions.