Lesbian Female / 39
My Intolerance To Pride Was Born From What Pride Has Become
This is Pride month. Once upon a time I participated in Pride. At a Pride event in Seattle I witnessed behavior that left me cold inside. It was disgusting, how could rational human beings behave like that. The applause from those present, including the woman I was there with, froze me. I walked away in a cold sweat, trembling. I was accused if being intolerant.
It was the breaking point for me. I left without speaking to her, taking my 'papers' and grandmother's necklace (which she had pawned without telling me), a bag of clothes and went home to reconstruct myself. It was beyond painful, lonely is a generous word, depressed, there was no light in that world.
Two years later, I was not able to work, I met a man who I curiously could talk to. He was everything I once hated. But now I couldn't get enough of. This man understood me, and opened the curtains and let the light in. I married him, in a Catholic ceremony, with a full Mass and all the trimmings. I was expectant before I knew it, settled down to make a home and family. The year was 2013.
It was last year during a women's Bible study that I met her. She is younger by a decade. All my defenses were missing, I cheated with her. I begged forgiveness. I am penitent. My husband is not pleased, a generous word, but he forgave me.
I cannot in good faith in any form accept Pride, or what it stands for. Maybe fifty years ago it was well meaning, but not any more. It is the month I cannot identify with. I am intolerant, I accept that. I have children, I have to protect them from Pride and what it stands for.
It was the breaking point for me. I left without speaking to her, taking my 'papers' and grandmother's necklace (which she had pawned without telling me), a bag of clothes and went home to reconstruct myself. It was beyond painful, lonely is a generous word, depressed, there was no light in that world.
Two years later, I was not able to work, I met a man who I curiously could talk to. He was everything I once hated. But now I couldn't get enough of. This man understood me, and opened the curtains and let the light in. I married him, in a Catholic ceremony, with a full Mass and all the trimmings. I was expectant before I knew it, settled down to make a home and family. The year was 2013.
It was last year during a women's Bible study that I met her. She is younger by a decade. All my defenses were missing, I cheated with her. I begged forgiveness. I am penitent. My husband is not pleased, a generous word, but he forgave me.
I cannot in good faith in any form accept Pride, or what it stands for. Maybe fifty years ago it was well meaning, but not any more. It is the month I cannot identify with. I am intolerant, I accept that. I have children, I have to protect them from Pride and what it stands for.
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