Cheating On My Boyfriend With Our Neighbor

I am officially having an affair.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years and I love him, but for the past year or so our sex life has been crap. He’s a nurse and works night shifts whereas I have an office job in advertising so he’s always “too tired” and never initiates. I’ve tried talking to him about it and he always promises things will change, but they never do.

We moved into a new apartment block in January and hit off it off with one of our neighbours, a single guy in his early thirties, Ryan. The three of us started hanging out together from time to time. I’d noticed he was hot and a bit of a flirt but didn’t really think anything of it, but when we started meeting up alone in the evenings when my boyfriend was at work, I started to grow more and more attracted to him. He’s funny and charming and I just found his company so easy. I liked how much attention he paid me.

Anyway one Friday evening we were having a drink at his place, and we started talking about sex. We were trading hot stories about people we’d banged in the past, and I realised that none of mine were with my boyfriend. I opened up and started complaining about how little sex I was getting. He looked me in the eye and told me I was far too beautiful to have such a boring sex life.

That did for me and we started making out aggressively. I straddled him on the couch until he picked me up and carried me to his bedroom. We tore each other’s clothes off and spent the next hour fucking each other senseless. It was incredible sex. By the time I crept back to my apartment later that night, promising each other we’d keep it secret, I’d had several mind-blowing orgasms.

It was everything I’d been missing in my relationship. I felt really guilty of course, but I also couldn’t get Ryan out of my head, and a week later, we met up for another round of illicit passion. That was two months ago now, and we’ve been screwing each other discreetly ever since. I can’t get enough of his dick and I’ve not felt this happy – or horny – in years. I'm so riled up all the time I want to fuck every guy I see.

A better person than me would break it off or come clean. It’s going to blow up in my face at some point but honestly I’m loving all the sneaking around. The risk makes the sex even hotter. We’ve starting doing it in our apartment sometimes instead of his, which feels super naughty.

The few times the three of us have hung out together are intense, but Ryan’s cool as a cucumber and thankfully, my boyfriend seems clueless about what’s going on. I actually don’t think he’s capable of imagining that I’d betray him in that way.

I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to hurt him, but I’m having so much fun. I don’t want to lose my relationship, but I don’t want to go back to underwhelming, occasional sex either. And our situation, with my boyfriend’s work pattern and the fact we live thirty seconds away from each other, makes it easy.

Why does being bad feel so good?