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My Spouse
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Straight Female / 62
When I Was Young There Was One Rule, You Got Pregnant, You Got Married
I was asked the other day by a new coworker how I met my husband. I told her in college. That is true, but the truth is that it wasn't a complete truth.
Although it is ancient history now there was a time when no one had a cell phone, when kids went to college and didn't have a car, when girls were taught to respect men, and when you are a freshman a senior is a man and you are a girl. It was my first Thanksgiving away from home and I was homesick. My home, drive time was six hours, if I had a car. I wasn't scheduled to go home until Christmas. I was whining and throwing a tantrum, I didn't want to be away at Thanksgiving. The Church I had joined had a large Thanksgiving for the students at the college who weren't able to be with their families. By Tuesday I was distraught and a senior told me to stop crying, he would drive me home on Wednesday after last class, to be ready because we were driving straight through.
Some of the drive was on the interstate but a lot of the drive was on state highways. We left at six, because I wasn't ready. Every woman knows the feeling of the man hurrying her and complaining because she isn't ready. I felt that, that feeling on the back of your neck when you know the man is upset with you. He carried my bag to the car.
It was four hours into the drive, we were on a state highway, at that part of the highway it was two lane, and it was raining. We were driving slower, the windshield wipers were on, and he reminded me to keep my seatbelt on. The conversation had long since died down, and the radio was on, only the sound of the highway and the windshield wipers. We drove past a pair of tail lights in the ditch. He slowed down, and when he found a spot, we turned around and went back. He told me to STAY in the car. He got out and went over and had to slide down the embankment. He got back, he was covered in mud, he shook his head. It was a fatality.
He drove with purpose, his mouth clamped shut, would not answer any questions. In my head was my grandmother telling someone that when a man is thinking the woman keeps her mouth shut. We came on the next town and we looked up the police and he reported the accident, he had measured the distance with his odometer, and the police and a crew left to deal with the accident. Some family was going to be missing a family member on Thanksgiving. It was late, it was now past midnight. He told me we were staying, in case they needed him. He registered 'us' at the only motel, one room.
He wasn't exactly nice, or communicative. By the time he was done with me, I was no longer a virgin. Nothing was virgin. Nothing. I slept under his arm, if I moved he grabbed me tight and I had to stay very quiet and not move an inch. At some point the rain stopped, at some point he grabbed me so tight I couldn't breathe really. All I thought was that I was in a bear hug, and the bear wasn't going to let me go. I said my prayers, God Protect Me for I have Sinned.
Our Thanksgiving was quiet, the noises of the cousins and the women in the kitchen. The men at the television watching football. But he was quiet and I was with him. I sat, didn't move, sat with him. At some point the dinner was served, I helped, my grandmother told me to sit beside my man, there was little conversation from him. I was asked if he was always this quiet, the assumption around the table is that I had brought him home to present my man to them.
In those days, as a pregnant freshman you got married to a graduating senior. That was the rule of the day. Absolute. No Question. He was now my husband.
Although it is ancient history now there was a time when no one had a cell phone, when kids went to college and didn't have a car, when girls were taught to respect men, and when you are a freshman a senior is a man and you are a girl. It was my first Thanksgiving away from home and I was homesick. My home, drive time was six hours, if I had a car. I wasn't scheduled to go home until Christmas. I was whining and throwing a tantrum, I didn't want to be away at Thanksgiving. The Church I had joined had a large Thanksgiving for the students at the college who weren't able to be with their families. By Tuesday I was distraught and a senior told me to stop crying, he would drive me home on Wednesday after last class, to be ready because we were driving straight through.
Some of the drive was on the interstate but a lot of the drive was on state highways. We left at six, because I wasn't ready. Every woman knows the feeling of the man hurrying her and complaining because she isn't ready. I felt that, that feeling on the back of your neck when you know the man is upset with you. He carried my bag to the car.
It was four hours into the drive, we were on a state highway, at that part of the highway it was two lane, and it was raining. We were driving slower, the windshield wipers were on, and he reminded me to keep my seatbelt on. The conversation had long since died down, and the radio was on, only the sound of the highway and the windshield wipers. We drove past a pair of tail lights in the ditch. He slowed down, and when he found a spot, we turned around and went back. He told me to STAY in the car. He got out and went over and had to slide down the embankment. He got back, he was covered in mud, he shook his head. It was a fatality.
He drove with purpose, his mouth clamped shut, would not answer any questions. In my head was my grandmother telling someone that when a man is thinking the woman keeps her mouth shut. We came on the next town and we looked up the police and he reported the accident, he had measured the distance with his odometer, and the police and a crew left to deal with the accident. Some family was going to be missing a family member on Thanksgiving. It was late, it was now past midnight. He told me we were staying, in case they needed him. He registered 'us' at the only motel, one room.
He wasn't exactly nice, or communicative. By the time he was done with me, I was no longer a virgin. Nothing was virgin. Nothing. I slept under his arm, if I moved he grabbed me tight and I had to stay very quiet and not move an inch. At some point the rain stopped, at some point he grabbed me so tight I couldn't breathe really. All I thought was that I was in a bear hug, and the bear wasn't going to let me go. I said my prayers, God Protect Me for I have Sinned.
Our Thanksgiving was quiet, the noises of the cousins and the women in the kitchen. The men at the television watching football. But he was quiet and I was with him. I sat, didn't move, sat with him. At some point the dinner was served, I helped, my grandmother told me to sit beside my man, there was little conversation from him. I was asked if he was always this quiet, the assumption around the table is that I had brought him home to present my man to them.
In those days, as a pregnant freshman you got married to a graduating senior. That was the rule of the day. Absolute. No Question. He was now my husband.
