Straight Female / 30
The Only Sexual Emotion I Have Is Wanting A Baby
I had a difficult childhood and was antisocial. I didn't date or have friendships. I went to college locally and got a degree in business management. I went to work for an insurance agency, moved out into my own apartment. For Thanksgiving that year my family had a reunion, at a beach close to my grandparents.
At night I stepped out onto the beach and the moonlight. Some kids surrounded me and I was dragged into the dunes and gang banged. My father and brother looked for them but never found any trace of them. We decided to avoid the police, I went home with a 'life experience'. The timing was off for them and I didn't become pregnant.
At work I told the wife, who told her husband. I told her I was upset when I didn't even walk away with a baby, after four guys had sex with me. After a lecture from her, I kept that feeling to myself. I couldn't understand how I was denied a baby.
I became promiscuous. One of the guys I went out with was 'successful' and he had sex with me. This time I got pregnant. I knew him casually, but kept the pregnancy from him. He was a 'donor' as far as I was concerned.
After years of therapy, I've come to terms that I'm asexual. I don't derive any pleasure from sex and I don't care what he does with me. It's not even a dream worth remembering. My son is eight, my older brother is his male role model. I'm a good mother, maybe a little demanding. If, I was walking on the beach again and I was approached by someone, I would welcome another pregnancy. I know how to 'husband' the sperm left in me.
At night I stepped out onto the beach and the moonlight. Some kids surrounded me and I was dragged into the dunes and gang banged. My father and brother looked for them but never found any trace of them. We decided to avoid the police, I went home with a 'life experience'. The timing was off for them and I didn't become pregnant.
At work I told the wife, who told her husband. I told her I was upset when I didn't even walk away with a baby, after four guys had sex with me. After a lecture from her, I kept that feeling to myself. I couldn't understand how I was denied a baby.
I became promiscuous. One of the guys I went out with was 'successful' and he had sex with me. This time I got pregnant. I knew him casually, but kept the pregnancy from him. He was a 'donor' as far as I was concerned.
After years of therapy, I've come to terms that I'm asexual. I don't derive any pleasure from sex and I don't care what he does with me. It's not even a dream worth remembering. My son is eight, my older brother is his male role model. I'm a good mother, maybe a little demanding. If, I was walking on the beach again and I was approached by someone, I would welcome another pregnancy. I know how to 'husband' the sperm left in me.
