Queen Of Bad Decisions

I can't be alone and my partners always start out as obsessions. The problem is I'm extremely mentally unwell and the men drawn to me seem to be too. The latest one is the worst so far. He unashamedly gaslights me and he admits his bad behaviour is planned and a way to control me. Over the years my obsessions have proven to be bad for me in many ways but now I've fallen in to an addiction there is that added into the mix too, as these men are addicts too. I make bad decisions after bad decisions and I can't seem to stop myself. I just want to destroy my whole life.