Sex Confession #8359 | Adult Confessions

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My 14 year old daughter was born out of wedlock under rather bad circumstances. At 20, I was living with a married man and his wife's brother broke in and raped me. I was unsure who the father was and only learned when my daughter was 3 that my married lover (who dumped me after the rape and went back to his wife) was sterile. So her biological father is a rapist. Or he was, he died a couple years ago from a drug overdose.

When my daughter began asking about her father (around age 5), I made up a story about a high school sweetheart that I planned to marry who left to fight in the first Gulf War before he knew I was pregnant. According to my story, he was killed. I used a photo from a military pen pal service to add weight to my story.

Until the recent war, she's accepted the story, but so much has been in the news about the benefits dead soldier's families receive and has been asking why she hasn't gotten benefits. She's even started trying to use the internet to find information about her "dad".

I realize that sooner or later, the tale is going to unravel.I can tell her the truth or make up another tale. What should I do?

I'd rather she think I had a one night stand with some guy in a bar than got raped by a drug addict because I was having an affair.

What would you prefer?

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# 8359 - by Anonymous / September 18, 2005

Comments

by Anonymous on Sep 18, 2005 at 6:18 PM

I would much rather hear the truth. By sharing your experiences with her, it will help her from having to experience the same thing, and I'm sure that you don't want her to follow the same path. She may get upset because you lied, but then again she may not. She may be more upset at what happened to you than the fact that you told a lie. And you didn't tell it to be mean or malicious; you did it to protect her from such a horrible, awful truth, and there's nothing wrong with that. And it isn't always easy to admit that we've made some mistakes in our lives, especially to your own children. Hopefully she will understand why you told her what you did. I hope it all works out for you and I hope she understands. Good luck to you.

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by Anonymous on Sep 19, 2005 at 7:57 PM

When I was 16 I found out that my dad wasn't really my dad. My mom had an affair and then they got back together. I guess I later came to accept the truth, but as a teen it was devastating. Perhaps you could start out small (her dad wasn't a war hero) and work up to the affair and rape.

by Anonymous on Sep 20, 2005 at 1:05 AM

You shouldn't have told such a whopping lie in the first place.
You could have said that he was dead and that you couldn't tell her everything until she was older.
Now the best thing to do is to gently break the truth to her.
It'll be a hell of a thing for her to hear, but it will be worse for both of you if you make up yet another lie.

by Anonymous on Sep 20, 2005 at 10:31 PM

You rip what you stich, bitch. I hoope you have not been with anyone elses husband since then. Did you at least report the rape? You should not have lied to your daughter, let her know the truth now, tell her what you really are.

by Anonymous on Sep 21, 2005 at 10:29 AM

So women deserve to be raped if they have an affair. Very enlightened attitude.

by Anonymous on Sep 26, 2005 at 11:15 PM

You don't deserve to be talked to so horribly. Now is the time to come clean. Just whatever you do don't make her feel dirty because she was the product of a rape. Make sure you tell her just how much you have always loved her and always will. We can't help where we come from but we can help who we become. Good luck, you are gonna need it. Keep us posted.

by Anonymous on Sep 30, 2005 at 11:04 AM

Tell her the truth. Lies only make things worse.

by Anonymous on Oct 20, 2005 at 11:27 PM

You really should be honest with her. Tell her what happened, listen to what she has to say, and try to get her counseling if you can. It might be a good idea for you to go too. You didn't get raped because you had an affair, or because you were bad. You were raped because some psycho felt he had the right to hurt you. It wasn't your fault!

by Anonymous on Jun 13, 2006 at 12:58 PM

I would tell her who the father was but not what led up to it.
My daughters biological father was a crack head and an abuser. He died as well from the drugs.
She knows he died but I told her that he was a nice man and we fell out of love and he died too young.
Children do not need to know that thier father was a worthless peice of crap. Expecially a young girl.It makes them feel worthless.
I decided if needed...i will tell her when she is an adult.

by Anonymous on Jun 18, 2006 at 7:33 PM

please do not tell her ..i would die if i found out..tell her later....actually...tell her about other raped victims and if she accpets them normally and doesn't care then tell her.....but if she doesn't....don't tell her becuz if i found out that happened to my mother i would cry

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