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I am a married 30 year old woman who is happily married. I have a yoga instructor ( a man ) who I sometimes flirt with.I don't necessarily have a crush on him. Lately when I have sex with my husband I imagine its with my instructor and now when I masturbate I fantasize about my instructor. I imagine everything from giving oral to receiving it from him.I even think of having sex with him and my husband at the same time. Is this wrong or strange to do that?

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# 8544 - by Anonymous / November 11, 2006
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Comments

Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 11, 2006 at 11:36 AM

No there is nothing wrong with that, men do the same thing.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 11, 2006 at 3:15 PM

Sounds like your not as happy as your pretending to be.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 11, 2006 at 4:33 PM

There is kind of something wrong with that. What if your husband intentionally had to imagine some other woman just to have sex with you? You would probably feel that it was hurtful. Just because some men do it does not make it right at all. Sometimes that just shows that the person is not all there with you. Or maybe does not want to be? Well maybe you should be asking yourself why? Hope you find an answer.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 11, 2006 at 7:51 PM

Bunch of bullshit!
There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with fantasizing about another man/woman while having sex with your spouse.

It's human nature for christ sake. It's only a problem if it becomes a reality and ruins the marriage.

Comon people..you can be very happily married and fantasize about Orlando Bloom/Johnny Depp...or whoever.

Imagination more often than not spices things up.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 12, 2006 at 1:37 AM

Hey, I'm happily married, and I've chosen to share my fantasies with my husband. Granted, my fantasies always involve other women, so my husband naturally doesn't have a problem with it. I especially think about other chicks when I'm laying face down on my pillow, and humping it for all I'm worth! I don't think he'd be overly pleased if I told him I was having sex fantasies about men, though.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 12, 2006 at 4:33 AM

You don't have to tell your fantasies at all.
You are entitled to your own mind without having to share every last detail with your spouse.

I've been married for 16 years and although I love my husband very much and wouldn't trade him for anything in the world, I have fantasized about everyone from a friend to my gym trainorto Johnny Depp and lots in between including other women.

Beleive me, it has not wrecked my marriage or made me any less happy. I know there must be women on TV/Movies and maybe even a client or two that he has fantisized about.

As long as he isn't plotting to make it a reality..what do I care? I do the same thing! We all do to some degree unless we are a ROBOT!

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 12, 2006 at 5:00 AM

thats what my husband said to me. Then I caught him cheating. Everyones different though. In your 16 years how close have you come to fufilling a fantasy. My husband seemed to have fantasized so much it became the norm and then he acted on it. fantasy is ok as long as its kept in check.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 12, 2006 at 7:44 AM

How close? No more than flirting. A fantasy is just that. Reality is reality. Everyone fantasizes, but not everyone acts on it. Maybe the cheating spouse had a plan in his head and not just a fantasy.

On a related topic,dreams about having sex is another person other than your spouse can cause guilt, but it doesn't nessessarily mean you will eventualy make it real.

That's where the ID the Ego and the Superego come into play. Only those that can't control their ID act apon fantasy.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 13, 2006 at 11:24 PM

How close? If the chance ever presented itself for you to make your fantasy reality, who would act on it? What if no one would know but you and your fantasy? Do you think that you would make the faithful choice or take the chance? How can you distinguish your reality from fantasy if it presented itself before you in the flesh? Just what would actually go through the back of your mind? How would you want to react, truthfully?

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 14, 2006 at 10:04 AM

Being a slightly impulsive person, I may make a fantasy real if it presented itself in the flesh.
If Johnny Depp was in my bed calling for me to join him...I think I would do it.

However there would be a HUGE price to pay after the fact.
Would Johnny Depp love me forever warts and all?
I wouldn't want to chance that. My husband has seen me giving birth 3 times, having food poisoning and the flu.
The devil you know is sometimes than the devil you don't.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 14, 2006 at 10:05 AM

better than the devil you don't.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Dec 10, 2006 at 7:06 AM

if you're leading the other guy on with your flirting.
This situation is very normal, but take care if you ever find yourself being invited out somewhere - even with others - by this other guy.
You could end up tipsy and seduced and, eventually, regretful.

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