Sex Confession #8866 | Adult Confessions

- Women Only -

I am having a very hard time deciding if I want to divorce my husband. We have been together for 8 years, and married for 4. We don't get to spend a lot of time together (only a few hours a week) because he works a lot, and I work & go to school.

On the one hand, I love him, and he has a really good heart. He is responsible and hard-working in his job. He is funny and fun, and when we do have sex it is great.

On the other, he is a chronic pot smoker,(I don't smoke) and has no intention of ever stopping. He surfs the web for porn, although I have told him that this really makes me unhappy (if he wanted to see some tits and pussy, why doesn't he just ask me, I am his wife!?! BTW, this is not an invitation for anyone else.). When he does have time off from work, he would rather hang out with the people he works with than with me. I know he is not cheating on me. I have my sources.

I want a home and a family some day, and I keep thinking: Maybe this really isn't the type of person I want for a father for my children. Maybe I would be better off alone, since it seems like we just live our separate lives and keep drifting further and further apart in terms of values.

I know that it would really hurt him if I left, especially since things are "OK" right now. And the last thing I would want to do is hurt him, because I really do love him. But I guess the hardest thing is, I know in my heart that he is who he is, and he is not going to change. So should I just get rid of him now(when I have a chance of finding someone else before the biological clock ticks it's last tock), or be forced to make that choice when it comes to the time that I want a family and don't want them to have a druggie, porn-surfing husband for a father? Please post replies.

That's Juicy! 8
Remove It! 0

# 8866 - by Anonymous / June 8, 2004

Comments

by Anonymous on Jun 8, 2004 at 10:00 PM

It sounds like you have a pretty good thing going. You said you love him, and it would hurt you if you left. Plus after eight years of marriage the sex is still good. Men look at porn, and they masturbate. It's nothing against you, it's just something we do (If he's paying to look at the porn, that's a different story).
Mabey he uses the pot to relieve depression or anxiety. Have a heart to heart with him. Be honest, even if it hurts him. Plus, I'm sure you have some vices. Ask him if there's anything you do that irritates or upsets him. Mabey then you'll find out why he goes out all the time.
Love is hard to find. Best of luck.

(0) (0)

by Anonymous on Jun 9, 2004 at 9:19 AM

Trust me, he is never going to change. If you think you should get out, get out now, before you have kids. I've been married 11 years now, and I don't think we're going to make it to 12. We both thought we'd change. We haven't. Now we have a house and two kids and it's going to be so hard on us and them. Especially them.

Get out.

by Anonymous on Jun 9, 2004 at 9:25 AM

He will never change to what you want, get out now, dont just hang in there waiting and hoping.

by Anonymous on Jun 9, 2004 at 1:28 PM

git rid of the damm pot smoker, he won't change, and if you stay with him for 10 more years then what are you gonna have. the same thing only worse, and maby some kids to raise by your self.

by Anonymous on Jun 9, 2004 at 5:44 PM

The problem with the pot-smoking is that I am in a profession where I am sworn to uphold the law. How can I do that when it is being broken in my own home. He knows how I feel, I have let him know in no uncertain terms. He just says "this is how I was when you met me, and now you want me to change...I won't."

by Anonymous on Jun 10, 2004 at 6:14 AM

First, I agree with the earlier post that all guys look at porn and masterbate, so don't worry about that, unless he stops satisfying you completely.

My sugesstion is that you talk to him. Tell him what you want, Kids, a family, a respectable home. Tell him that you think it might be time for you to move on to some one else that will give that to you.

If he truly values you more than the pot smoking, etc, he will make changes internally on his own in order to keep you.

Don't threaten him with "change or I'll leave", because that will probably result in surface changes at the most, and he will revert back agaain most likely. The decision to change must be his, not yours.

I don't agree with earlier bitter posts that people don't change, but it would be more accurate to say, "you can't force a person to change" I used to smoke pot myself, for over 10 years, but I eventually quit because "I" wanted to, not because of anyone else.

In conclusion, let him know what you want, don't make any utimatums, but if he doesn't care to change then move on with your life.

by Anonymous on Jun 11, 2004 at 11:37 AM

Leave now. Many women waste the best years of their lives waiting for a man to straighten out. Some do --for a brief period of time--, but rarely is there any permanent major improvement. Pot has been shown to cause genetic mutations in sperm. Do you really want brain damaged kids?

by Anonymous on Jun 12, 2004 at 8:09 AM

Everybody masturbates,even you. If you are not too anal-retentive,you might try joining in the fun. As far as the pot smoking goes,he might change but he won't do it for you.The odds are poor at "making somebody do anything they don't want to". With the info at hand,I would say bail out while you still can and you are right,"the clock is ticking". It's hard enough to have a relationship (especially with children involved)but, you throw drugs in the picture and problems have a tendency to multiply ten-fold. Please don't put yourself and any future children through that nightmare. You sound like a pretty level-headed lady and probably know all this already and are just looking for confirmation. It's hard to take the leap but,it's a lot harder the longer you wait. You have to take charge of your life and watch out for number one in order to be truly happy. Hope this helps. Good luck in all future endeavors. From: Been there and done that.

Over 75,650 Adult Confessions Shared!