I got really high this weekend and because the guy I'm dating (we're not in an open relationship and we truly care about each other but we're both too commitment-phobic to actually call each other anything) didn't make it out to see me this weekend I got upset. I'd been looking forward to seeing him and he just missed his bus and thought it was no big deal. Well, at this concert another guy told me I was gorgeous. He was cute and we ended up dancing with each other then making out. He felt me up and fingered me too. Even though I didn't care about him it felt good physically. Then I wandered back to my group of friends (who I'd been looking for when I got distracted and met the guy) and one of them started getting sick. I noticed this guy starting at us and asked him to get her some water. He said he would if I'd go with him to get it. While we were heading back he asked me my name and told me I was pretty. He was really cute. We made out and he gave me a hickey.

I feel bad because I really care about the guy I'm with, but not that bad because I'm not technically entered into an agreement not to do those things. I just know they'd hurt him. I'm never going to tell him.