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I am 16 and have had around 18 suicide attempts(first one at the age of 9-ish...^^;;;...failed each time obviously...lol) I want to admit that I am a weak person, but everyone around pushes, pulls and leans on me. Once I mentioned the number of times I'd tried it but they laughed. When I talked to my mom She said these are just "stupid and silly thoughts" and told me to go back to studing(which I did). I don't understand why everyone sees me as the strong one...I'm not!!!...Oh well...what can I do...*sigh* I can only say that b/c ppl always rely and depend on me I keep going for the sake of helping others, so it's as much a good thing as a bad one...I just wanted to clear my head of these things. Thank you *bow*

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# 95 - by Anonymous / May 11, 2009
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Anonymous

by Anonymous on May 11, 2009 at 7:38 PM

If you really wanted to end it you would've done it, all you want is to be babyed.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on May 17, 2009 at 6:27 PM

i don't think so, sometimes you have to push your self to the edge just to know that you still have the will to survive, that you still care about yourself on some level.

suicide isn't selfish because people often do it because they think they're of no value to anyone and that they're a burden on their family, they don't realise how much pain it causes those who love them because they have such low self esteem they think the world would be better off without them.

Now that may bring about guilt for those who think they could have done more, which is unfair cos sometimes it's beyond their control.

It's unfair on everyone but life is unfair, sometimes logic can't change the way we feel and it doesnt matter what those around you say, cos you can't believe it if you can't feel it. Depression stops their love from getting through, it's not selfish it's an ilnness like any other and it's not the victums fault if they needed help and it wasn't available.

You say you've had failed attempts and I just thought I'd warn you that if you OD you have to tell someone about it, even if you think that it's not had an effect. it could really damage your liver/kidneys and you wont see the effects till 30 years later.

You don't sound depressed, but if you do find yourself thinking about it allot talk to someone who'll take you seriously. I'm sure you can be as strong as they think you are, but everyone need support now and again. you're not alone in feeling this way.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on May 25, 2009 at 4:40 AM

find yourself a hobby you can put some time into.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on May 25, 2009 at 12:40 PM

Go back to 'studing'? Do you mean putting the little pointy things in snow tires? I think you meant 'studding'.

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