Bi-Sexual Female / 18
Alright so first of I'm actually 17, and I didnt know where else to put this story. The thing is... my entire life I've had a thing for younger boys.
I am bisexual and my type of girl is typically the boyish type.. think Katherine Moennig or Alexa Chung sorta girl. But whenever I think of guys I like I always get stuck. I'm not attracted to guys like Brad Pitt or Channing Tatum, The only "celebrity" guys i can think are Leonardo Dicaprio when he was In his baby face stage (Titanic or Romeo and Juliet) or also young johnny depp, back when he had the short hair and before he did Gilbert Gr**e and stuff. I've been quite sexual since I was a kid and when I was 11 I had my first boyfriend. This was also around the time when I first had sex with a girl, but I never did anything but kiss and cuddle with the boy and now that I look back at it he was very cute in a sort of.. angelic sort of way. The last guy I officially went out with was when I was in my freshman year of highschool (14) which I find ironic because I'm probably still too young to call any relationship official.
The point of my story is that the last guy I found attractive enough to date was when I was 14. after that they all started looking a lot older and less angelic and youthful and more like young adults. I figured I had just gotten over men and was more into girls and have dated only girls since.
A couple of nights ago I started binge watching Malcolm in the Middle. I loved this show when I was younger and still do because it's super funny but I remembered that I used to have the biggest crush on Reese. I had a tiny crush on Malcolm but mostly on Reese. I kinda put it to the back of my head and kept watching the show but last night I had a dream about Reese. Now see, I may be 17 so still legally underage, but I my birthday is in 7 months and I already feel extremely guilty for having a dream about a 11-13 year old boy (which is about the age he was in season 2 which is when I liked him the most and the age he seemed to be in my dream).
The Dream:
At first the dream had nothing to do with this sort of stuff but then out of nowhere I was babysitting the boys from the show. at first I just kissed Malcolm then woke up and thought what the hell. but then I fell asleep again and dreamed Reese came into the room I was in. I was playing with A Nintendo DS and had the lights off with jsut a nightlight on so the room was mostly dark with a sort of glow. He came and sat next to me and we started sort of play fighting. I then looked at his face and remembered all the angelic boys I'd kissed as a pre-teen. I asked him if he had ever kissed a girl and he got slightly mad and embarrassed and quickly said no. I told him how there was nothing weird about it and that it was actually pretty cool. I then leaned in and placed a slow, simple, kiss on his soft lips. He looked straight ahead and didn't say anything I asked him if he didn't like it and he said he guessed he did. I then leaned in and grabbed his face and proceeded to kiss him slowly again, this time putting my tongue in his mouth and making it last as long as I could without making it obvious how much I was enjoying myself. I asked him if he liked it or not and if he didn't I could stop but he told me he didn't want to stop and that he did like it. I then asked him if he wanted to see my boobs and he nodded his head. I lifted my shirt and he looked in awe as I lifted is had to my breast and told he he could feel them. I saw as his penis grew in his shorts and held myself back from touching him. I then laid him back on the bed and made out with him a couple more times while he felt me up with his hand under my shirt. I then sort of looked at his face, his perfect boy face and I woke up.
I now have been thinking about this all day, about the imprint of his member in his basketball shorts, about the awe in his face, about soft cheeks, and about how his penis must have looked. probably kinda small but soft and pale, completely hairless. It makes me feel sick saying that just the thought of it drives me wild. I feel like a total p**ophile even though I am only thinking about a boy at most 4 years younger than me, I am in no way attracted to little boys. Just the pre-pubescent middle schoolers who still haven't done anything with a girl. I have fantasies of giving boys their first kisses and letting them feel my breasts and kiss their soft lips. I want to put my hand over their groin and feel them get embarrassed for getting hard. I want to pull down their pants and study their young penises and have my fun.
I feel disgusted with myself but my fantasies are driving me wild. I could never act on them, 1. because that's sort of a hard scenario to fill. I dont know anyone who needs their 12 year old son babysat. and 2. because I know I would feel like a p**ophile afterwords. Even if they where okay with it, i would still feel like I had taken advantage of them.
Any guys out there have similar experiences with your babysitters or with an older girl in general when you where a kid? how did it affect you? and anyone with any advice on how I can deal/get over this fantasy please let me know, I don't want to have any boys feel like I r***d them.
I am bisexual and my type of girl is typically the boyish type.. think Katherine Moennig or Alexa Chung sorta girl. But whenever I think of guys I like I always get stuck. I'm not attracted to guys like Brad Pitt or Channing Tatum, The only "celebrity" guys i can think are Leonardo Dicaprio when he was In his baby face stage (Titanic or Romeo and Juliet) or also young johnny depp, back when he had the short hair and before he did Gilbert Gr**e and stuff. I've been quite sexual since I was a kid and when I was 11 I had my first boyfriend. This was also around the time when I first had sex with a girl, but I never did anything but kiss and cuddle with the boy and now that I look back at it he was very cute in a sort of.. angelic sort of way. The last guy I officially went out with was when I was in my freshman year of highschool (14) which I find ironic because I'm probably still too young to call any relationship official.
The point of my story is that the last guy I found attractive enough to date was when I was 14. after that they all started looking a lot older and less angelic and youthful and more like young adults. I figured I had just gotten over men and was more into girls and have dated only girls since.
A couple of nights ago I started binge watching Malcolm in the Middle. I loved this show when I was younger and still do because it's super funny but I remembered that I used to have the biggest crush on Reese. I had a tiny crush on Malcolm but mostly on Reese. I kinda put it to the back of my head and kept watching the show but last night I had a dream about Reese. Now see, I may be 17 so still legally underage, but I my birthday is in 7 months and I already feel extremely guilty for having a dream about a 11-13 year old boy (which is about the age he was in season 2 which is when I liked him the most and the age he seemed to be in my dream).
The Dream:
At first the dream had nothing to do with this sort of stuff but then out of nowhere I was babysitting the boys from the show. at first I just kissed Malcolm then woke up and thought what the hell. but then I fell asleep again and dreamed Reese came into the room I was in. I was playing with A Nintendo DS and had the lights off with jsut a nightlight on so the room was mostly dark with a sort of glow. He came and sat next to me and we started sort of play fighting. I then looked at his face and remembered all the angelic boys I'd kissed as a pre-teen. I asked him if he had ever kissed a girl and he got slightly mad and embarrassed and quickly said no. I told him how there was nothing weird about it and that it was actually pretty cool. I then leaned in and placed a slow, simple, kiss on his soft lips. He looked straight ahead and didn't say anything I asked him if he didn't like it and he said he guessed he did. I then leaned in and grabbed his face and proceeded to kiss him slowly again, this time putting my tongue in his mouth and making it last as long as I could without making it obvious how much I was enjoying myself. I asked him if he liked it or not and if he didn't I could stop but he told me he didn't want to stop and that he did like it. I then asked him if he wanted to see my boobs and he nodded his head. I lifted my shirt and he looked in awe as I lifted is had to my breast and told he he could feel them. I saw as his penis grew in his shorts and held myself back from touching him. I then laid him back on the bed and made out with him a couple more times while he felt me up with his hand under my shirt. I then sort of looked at his face, his perfect boy face and I woke up.
I now have been thinking about this all day, about the imprint of his member in his basketball shorts, about the awe in his face, about soft cheeks, and about how his penis must have looked. probably kinda small but soft and pale, completely hairless. It makes me feel sick saying that just the thought of it drives me wild. I feel like a total p**ophile even though I am only thinking about a boy at most 4 years younger than me, I am in no way attracted to little boys. Just the pre-pubescent middle schoolers who still haven't done anything with a girl. I have fantasies of giving boys their first kisses and letting them feel my breasts and kiss their soft lips. I want to put my hand over their groin and feel them get embarrassed for getting hard. I want to pull down their pants and study their young penises and have my fun.
I feel disgusted with myself but my fantasies are driving me wild. I could never act on them, 1. because that's sort of a hard scenario to fill. I dont know anyone who needs their 12 year old son babysat. and 2. because I know I would feel like a p**ophile afterwords. Even if they where okay with it, i would still feel like I had taken advantage of them.
Any guys out there have similar experiences with your babysitters or with an older girl in general when you where a kid? how did it affect you? and anyone with any advice on how I can deal/get over this fantasy please let me know, I don't want to have any boys feel like I r***d them.
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